


I'll make it worth it

by aerinuh



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Angst, Cunnilingus, Eventual Relationships, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Female Do Kyungsoo | D.O, Female Kim Jongdae | Chen, Female Park Chanyeol, Female Zhang Yi Xing | Lay, Fluff, Gender or Sex Swap, Heterosexual Relationship, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Past Relationship(s), Semi-Public Sex, Unrequited Love, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:22:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23762254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aerinuh/pseuds/aerinuh
Summary: Despite having all of their five senses intact, one cannot see while the other cannot speak.Or another story of how two best friends end up being together.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongdae | Chen
Comments: 39
Kudos: 107





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH JONGDAE AS A CISHET GIRL PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD **PLEASE LEAVE ME, MY FIC, AND WHOEVER WANTS TO READ IT, ALONE.** There is a big difference between what is reality and what is fictional, I pray for everyone's awareness.
> 
> **HAPPY 0421!!** It's Baekchen day, the only valid national holiday, and the EXPLORATION live album is also released today!!! *woot a drunk park chanyeol breaking a champagne bottle at the background woot*
> 
> To **Baekhyun and Jongdae,** my bb boiszxc - I love you both to no end. Thank you for making all of the other ships look inferior. To Nesi, here's to more shipdays with youuu - ily. To Lav, thank you for reading this over and for your suggestions - ily!!
> 
> As always, please enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prologue is in Kyungsoo's POV but the rest of the succeeding chapters are in Jongdae's.
> 
> **and in case of confusion:**
> 
> Chanyeol - Chaeyeol  
> Jongdae - Jeondae  
> Jongin - Nini (Jinhee) [Only mentioned in passing]  
> Kyungsoo - Soongkyu  
> Yixing - Lei

Almost a year into dating Baekhyun and Soongkyu feels like this is the happiest that she’s been in years. Baekhyun is nice and sweet, respects her space and decisions- so different from her toxic and control freak ex-boyfriend. But no matter how many times she tells how perfect their relationship is to her best friend, Nini, the other doesn’t seem so convinced.

Soongkyu and Baekhyun are currently driving on their way home. Soongkyu looks at her boyfriend driving and she enjoys the view. Baekhyun notices and quickly looks at her before he smiles and then he looks at the rearview mirror to check on the person in the back seat. Soongkyu turns her head and she can’t help but snicker at the sight.

Jeondae, Baekhyun’s best friend, passed out and drunk on the back seat, with her head lolled to the side. Her hair tied in a messy ponytail, while her make up is a bit smudged from the sweat and the partying - but nevertheless she’s still really pretty despite looking utterly wasted. She also looks so adorable and tiny all wrapped up in Baekhyun’s suit jacket.

Jeondae is the reason why Nini does not vie for Baekhyun. Nini keeps on saying that there’s something between Baekhyun and Jeondae - that they haven’t realized it  _ yet _ but there’s something undeniable there. And no matter what happens, Soongkyu would be at the losing end.

But, honestly? Soongkyu doesn’t see it. Of course, there would definitely be people who would question their friendship - given how close the two of them are. But, isn’t that something to be expected from two people who grew up together? It also adds that Baekhyun is naturally protective and Jeondae is naturally affectionate. With the way Soongkyu sees it, Jeondae and Baekhyun are really those types of best friends who prove that a boy and a girl can be friends. Nothing  _ more _ .

There wasn’t even a spark of jealousy in Soongkyu’s gut when Baekhyun ended their dinner date early after he received a call from Junmyeon asking for Baekhyun to pick up Jeondae while Junmyeon will drive Chaeyeol home.

Because if Baekhyun says his love for Jeondae is platonic, then Soongkyu doesn’t have any reason to believe otherwise.

Baekhyun parks at Jeondae’s apartment complex and then goes out of the car. Soongkyu follows suit. Baekhyun opens the car door for the back seat and Jeondae with a lopsided grin greets them.

“Surprise, Bitch,” She giggles as her eyes are still hazy. “I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me.” Jeondae’s words are so jumbled together, Soongkyu herself barely understands her - but Baekhyun seems to understand loud and clear as he chuckles.

“I thought I’d seen the last of you,” He says as he scoots forward to carry Jeondae bridal style. “Or at least,  _ the drunk you _ .” Baekhyun adjusts Jeondae in his arms and Soonkyu is a bit astonished with how easy Baekhyun picked her up. Too astonished that she doesn’t even hear Baekhyun until he repeats himself—

“Babe? Can you get her bag?” Baekhyun requests with a charming smile - if he’s having a hard time carrying Jeondae there’s not a single trace of it on his face. Soongkyu quickly nods and gets Jeondae’s black Chanel bag and slings it on her shoulder.

Baekhyun familiarly walks into the building. Nodding at the person behind the reception desk, instructing Soongkyu what floor to press at the elevator. Jeondae keeps on mindlessly mumbling a couple of lines that Soonkyu doesn’t know the reference for.

“Her hungover will be hell,” Soongkyu says as she fixes the stray strands of hair on Jeondae’s face.

“I’ve been to hell.” Jeondae says while she perks up. Still drunk. “I promise you, this is better.”

Soongkyu raises her eyebrows and looks at Baekhyun for an explanation.

“She’s quoting American Horror Story. She was binge-watching it last weekend.” They get off the elevator and into Jeondae’s apartment. (And of course, Baekhyun expertly navigates through Jeondae’s apartment).

“Either crown me or kiss my ass.” Jeondae states before Baekhyun dumps her in her bed.

“And now she’s asleep,” Baekhyun retorts - and surprisingly enough Jeondae is really asleep. Soongkyu stands at the door and watches Baekhyun as he goes at what looks like Jeondae’s closet and pulls out a pair of pajamas. Baekhyun then turns to her and asks, “Babe, can you change her in these. I’ll just go and get something in the bathroom.”

Soongkyu doesn’t even get the chance to say yes because Baekhyun already placed the pajamas at the end of the bed and left them.

Soongkyu adjusts her glasses and then she goes down to business. She takes off Jeondae’s bright red high heels first, then Baekhyun’s deep navy suit jacket off, next is Jeondae’s little black tube dress (that shows off her perfect body), and then her accessories — surprisingly dressing Jeondae in her white silk pajamas was easy.

Soongkyu was already finished when Baekhyun came back with a tall glass of water, a couple of tablets of aspirin, some cotton pads and a clear bottle of some liquid that also looked like water. Baekhyun places the water and the medicine at the bedside table and then he sits at Jeondae’s side.

Soongkyu was about to ask Baekhyun what he’s doing but Baekhyun beats her to it as he soaks one of the cotton pads with the bottled liquid and then swipes it on Jeondae’s face.

_ He’s removing her makeup _ .

It’s like all the air in Soongkyu’s lungs freeze up as she watches. Watches as Baekhyun deliberately cleans Jeondae’s face — as he carefully takes off her false eyelashes, and would whisper nonsense whenever Jeondae stirs awake.

She watches how Baekhyun looks at Jeondae with those warm and tender eyes — something that was never directed at Soongkyu herself.

Soongkyu, stands there, as she watches with wide eyes.

  
Because for the first time ever,  _ she finally sees it _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this chapter was reposted from my drabble collection - this fic is the continuation of it.


	2. Chapter One

Jeondae punches in the passcode for Baekhyun’s apartment and enters it without preamble. She doesn’t expect Baekhyun to be awake on a Saturday morning (even if it’s already ten in the morning!), but her eyes still dart across the apartment in search of Baekhyun as she toes off her shoes. His apartment is mostly clean aside from the stray cable wires and a stack of documents at the coffee table.  _ At least he’s cleaning now.  _ Jeondae notes as she slips on her own pair of indoor slippers and proceeds to go to the kitchen, she places her bag at the counter and then opens the fridge to get a 500 ml bottled water.

Jeondae sighs as she notices that Baekhyun's fridge is almost empty, except for a big tub of kimchi, water bottles, a six-pack, and then some rocky road ice cream.

She then goes to Baekhyun’s room. Jeondae hesitantly opens the door scared that she’d walk in on him,  _ again _ . She peeks inside the room and she spots Baekhyun’s clothes discarded on the floor. Jeondae only lets a breath of relief when she fully opens the door and sees Baekhyun softly snoring alone on his bed. His chest pressed against the bed with half of his face mushed on his pillow, his naked shoulder blades and arms on full view. There’s no point in denying that Jeondae’s eyes linger on the fresh scratch marks on Baekhyun’s skin, nor how his black hair looks like it was tousled and pulled. Jeondae walks towards Baekhyun and was about to wake him up but her stomach makes an unpleasant churn as she spots a hastily written phone number on a puppy sticky note placed on the bedside table.

_ She’s not jealous _ .

It’s not jealousy that forms into her stomach like bile that makes her want to vomit her internal organs out.

Jealousy is for people who feel like they’re getting replaced with someone that’s better – far superior to them. Jealousy stems from feelings riddled with insecurities and inadequacies. If you’re jealous it only means that you know that you’re not good enough.

And that doesn’t apply to Jeondae because she knows that she’s more than enough, she knows that she can never get replaced with someone better – because she’s already the best.

And that’s the reason why she chose to be Baekhyun’s  _ best  _ friend.

Only his best friend.

Because maybe it’s not Jeondae that’s not good enough for Baekhyun, but the other way around. Baekhyun is not good enough for Jeondae and he doesn’t have any intentions to be better because he doesn’t like her that way.

He doesn’t  _ see _ her that way.

That should’ve been a big sign for Jeondae to stop.

Stop whatever she’s doing. Stop canceling all her Saturday morning plans after receiving a call from a drowsy Baekhyun saying that he’s dying. Stop rushing to cook porridge that would always cure Baekhyun’s hangover. Stop going across the entire city just to go to his apartment. Stop staring at him while he sleeps soundly probably tired from his last night’s conquest.

And if her looking like a complete enamored idiot hopelessly pinning over her best friend is not enough reason for her to stop (Because Jeondae doesn’t have any ounce of emotional self-preservation at all).

The least that she could do is pine on someone that’s good looking – or someone that is part of the standard type of beauty. She can’t believe that she fell for someone with droopy eyes that's more often than not gleam with mischief and mirth, someone with puffed out cheeks that resemble strawberry rice cakes, someone with unique downcast lips that make him look like he’s in a state of a perpetual pout, and someone that is taller than 173 cm _. _

Joendae’s gaze at Baekhyun turns into a glare because out of all people she really fell for this guy. Her lips slightly pressed together, the corners turned downwards. As if he felt the heat of her glare, Baekhyun starts to stir and shallowly blink his eyes open. “Dae?” Baekhyun croaks out as he stretches his limbs out before sitting up. Joendae’s frown deepens because Baekhyun looks so ugly with his tousled hair and disheveled-just-woke-up-face but it makes her heart skip and her palms clammy.

_ Damn it Jeondae, you see him like that at least once a week! _

Or maybe, it’s because now she can fully see deep red and purple hickeys from the column of Baekhyun’s throat down to Baekhyun’s chest. Jeondae tries to fix her gaze at the ugly cream headboard of Baekhyun’s bed, as she crosses her arms in front of her.

“What did I do now?” Baekhyun asks while rubbing his eyes, and he tilts his head in confusion. “You’re looking at me like I killed Sushi.”

Jeondae ignores his accusation as she throws the water bottle at Baekhyun, he catches it easily. “You need a shower. You look like the personification of a roadkill,” Jeongdae deflects easily and Baekhyun shoots her an exasperated look.

“My head feels like one too,” Baekhyun admits in a mumble before drinking the entire bottle of water.

“Get up, I brought some porridge,” Jeondae informs, she makes her voice as stern as she could, but Baekhyun literally lit up at the mention of porridge and Jeondae melts at the sight. She gets out of the bedroom and gestures for Baekhyun to follow her. Jeondae goes to the kitchen and gets the thermos from her tote bag. She then gets a bowl and a spoon and places both on the kitchen island before she pours out the porridge into the bowl. Jeondae then starts the coffee maker. She hears the screech of the stool on the hardwood floor, and she looks over her shoulder and sees Baekhyun, still without any shirt on, digging into the porridge.

“God this is heaven,” Baekhyun moans out, while Jeondae doesn’t indulge him with a response as she pours two cups of coffee into mugs. “You’re the crappiest cook ever but you make the best porridge. I swear,” He gushes and Jeondae answers with a bright smile as she places a mug beside his bowl and sits across him. Jeondae takes out her phone to check on a couple of emails from their department head.

“You’re not eating?” Baekhyun asks her with his cheeks full. Jeondae drinks her cup of coffee in lieu of an answer. “Coffee isn’t breakfast.” Jeondae was about to say something in retort but Baekhyun cuts her as he quickly adds. “Nor the bagel that you grabbed on your way here,” Baekhyun insists before he gives her a knowing look while Jeondae reciprocates with a pointed one. Because in her book, bagel and coffee  _ are _ considered breakfast. “You’re already so skinny. People actually die from starving themselves, you know?”

“Well isn’t that better than dying from alcohol poisoning?” The jab quickly knocks out Baekhyun as Jeondae can see the other literally deflate as he quietly eats the rest of his porridge. Jeondae smiles to herself, a bit smug. “We already went through this Baekhyun.” Jeondae starts conversationally, she tries not to be accusatory as much as possible. Because even if it’s  _ true _ . Jeondae knows that Baekhyun has the tendency to rebel if your words rub him the wrong way.

This is not the first time Jeondae needed to come to his apartment to take care of him, this has been going on for the past six months. Ever since Soongkyu broke up with him.

_ Soongkyu _ .

Jeondae used to think that the reason why she was meant to hopelessly pine over Baekhyun was because of the existence of Soongkyu. To say that they were perfect for each other would be an understatement because they were probably the match made in heaven. Soongkyu is nice and sweet, rational and sophisticated – that she would always have this aura of regality enveloping her (something that Jeondae would always envy). She’s also an amazing cook, and she owns her own restaurant. And Baekhyun, well the easiest way to put it is that Baekhyun is Baekhyun. It’s just crazy how they have polar opposite lifestyles, but they manage to perfectly sync their lives with that they ended up complementing each other rather than contrasting. Soongkyu grounds Baekhyun’s wild ways while Baekhyun makes Soongkyu loosen up a bit.

But more importantly, people would look at Baekhyun and see a happy-go-lucky who would constantly lift the moods of people. But, Jeondae knows it well enough that most of the time, Baekhyun isn’t the energizer that people thought him to be. And that’s what makes Soongkyu special because Jeondae never saw Baekhyun happier than he was with Soongkyu.

Not with Jeondae, nor with anyone. Only with Soongkyu.

So, it came as a shock when Baekhyun was calling Jeondae at 2 in the morning crying – almost incomprehensible – saying that they broke up. And after that night, bottomless drinking became a daily affair for Baekhyun (thankfully, it’s now a Friday night affair) – with Baekhyun getting wasted in some club and then bedding whoever club hook up he managed to charm.

It took a lot of interventions and wake up calls for Baekhyun to finally promise Jeondae that he will keep his drinking to a minimum. But, one week after it feels like they’re back at square one again.

“We had a company dinner last night, the boss was far too happy with the minimal update bugs that’s why he was in the mood for drinking – do you think I can reject an offer from my boss?” Baekhyun explains to her, while he gives her his puppy dog eyes and a matching pout. Jeondae doesn’t even budge as she stares dead straight at Baekhyun – waiting for a better explanation. “You know how Sehun doesn’t cut back with the alcohol when he’s really happy.”

Sehun, Baekhyun’s boss, was indeed like that. “It’s not like you can’t say no to him. I’ve seen you straight up reject him all the time.” Jeondae argues back and she can see the inner bolts and wires in Baekhyun’s brain work in its full capacity to come up with a better excuse for her.

“I didn’t even join the rest when Sehun invited me to go clubbing.” Baekhyun declares proudly, he puffs out his chest a bit.

Jeondae doesn’t even bat an eyelash when she says “Well, that’s only because you’re already taking some innocent intern home.” Jeondae shoots him down quickly – making Baekhyun deflate and go quiet. Jeondae smirks because she knows she’s right. “I’m not even gonna tell you to stop or whatever – because if you really want to be those guys who are stuck in this hole of alcoholism – going from one girl to another and eventually die from multiple organ failure all linked into kidney problems and probably an STD, then who am I to stop you.”

“Now, you’re just guilt-tripping me.”

“It’s not my fault you feel guilty.” Jongdae simpers as she hands her empty mug of coffee to Baekhyun when the other makes his way to the kitchen sink. Jeondae finally sees that Baekhyun wearing his iron man pajama bottoms (that’s in a tacky – almost hideous – shade of red). Baekhyun’s back at her as he starts to clean the dishes.

“Besides,” Baekhyun looks over his shoulder. “You’re my best friend – if I ever listen to someone, it’s you.”

“Okay, then,” Jeondae clasps her hands. “Stop drinking and eventually ruining my Saturday morning plans.” There’s really no sting to her words but Baekhyun looks at her with his eyebrows raised.

“You don’t even have Saturday morning plans.” He says as he puts the dishes on the drying rack.

Jeondae huffs at Baekhyun and fakes an offended face. Jeondae folds her arms to her chest and points her chin up. “Excuse me, I was gonna go grocery shopping today.”

“Then, let’s go grocery shopping – I don’t have any supplies left.” Baekhyun grins at her, but Jeondae pretends to think it over. She furrows her eyebrows and strokes her imaginary beard. “I don’t know… I usually get stressed when we’re grocery shopping together…”

“Oh, come on. When was the last time we did that? It'd be fun…” Jeondae hums but she sounds very doubtful. Drawing it out because she’s waiting for- “I’ll even pay for your groceries!”

Jeondae doesn’t even wait for a beat to agree as she happily chirps, “Okay!”

  
  


Baekhyun quickly takes a quick shower and is dressed in black sweatpants and a white sweatshirt under a jean jacket. His black hair, hastily dried with a blower, tucked under a white beanie. Jeondae jokingly says that Baekhyun was copying her outfit since she’s only dressed in black leggings and a white, almost cream, oversized sweatshirt (that’s originally Baekhyun’s). The hems of the sweatshirt sit right above her knees. Her long black hair is loose and free. They quickly drive to the closest supermarket.

Jeondae isn’t really obsessed with how healthy her daily food intake is and she’s not a health junky by any means, but as she watches Baekhyun fill up his pushcart with a dozen of instant and easy to cook meals along with a shitload of preservatives, it’s really hard for her not to judge. Baekhyun notices Jeondae’s judgment and defends, “You know how grueling work hours are for me – I really don’t have that much time to cook.”

This is another reason why Jeondae likes Soongkyu for Baekhyun because since she’s a chef she’d often prepare home cook microwaveable meals for him. Baekhyun works for a gaming company for a mobile game, and although it gives the other a hefty paycheck and Baekhyun seems to enjoy it very much, he usually has to sacrifice proper sleep and meals for his job.

“Okay then let’s go get you some fruits and other healthy foods that don’t involve cooking.” She decides and Baekhyun blinks up at her as she gestures for him to follow her. He does soon after.

Baekhyun was getting the cartons of milk while Jeondae was assigned to get their cereal. She spots her favorite cereal at the topmost shelf and Jeondae knows that the rational thing to do is ask for help from someone that is taller than her (i.e. anyone, since she’s really not gifted in the height department).

But Jeondae is stubborn and lazy, so what she does is get on her tippy toes and try to reach for the box. Of course, it’s fruitless since her fingers only manage to touch the bottom of the box briefly. Jeondae keeps on trying to nudge the box, she even jumps, when a far larger hand with a mole on the thumb nudges the box that she’s aiming for.

Jeondae quickly spins in place and finds Baekhyun right in front of her, his eyes fixed at the cereal box above and tongue poking out in concentration. Jeondae’s mind goes blank, she can easily push Baekhyun away (because judging from his additional height boost the other is on his tiptoes as well), but Jeondae doesn’t move an inch; doesn’t even blink – far too flustered because of their close proximity.

She wants to back away from Baekhyun, but that’s not possible with the shelves hindering her from going anywhere. Jeondae wills away the blush that’s creeping on her neck and her cheeks.

Baekhyun comes back to his normal height and places the box in his shopping cart without moving a single step. Then Baekhyun turns to her, his eyes scream that he’s absolutely up to no good. Completely unbothered with their close proximity. Baekhyun leans down, his hands resting on the shelf on either side of Jeondae’s hips, effectively caging her.

Jeondae tries not to squirm – Baekhyun’s face is so close to hers, she can even feel puffs of his breath on her lips. Jeondae unconsciously purses her lips in response.

“Yah,” He says in such a condescending manner – like one of those tugs in the movies – and Jeondae swallows hard. Any moment now and she’ll break into cold sweats with how intense Baekhyun’s eyes are burning into hers. They’re so close, Jeondae’s scared that Baekhyun will hear how hard her heart beats. “I’m still 15 centimeters taller than you, you can ask me to get you things.”

“It’s only 12, stop being so cocky.” Jeondae tries to sass, but with Baekhyun so close like this – her voice is more breathier than she wants it to be. Baekhyun chuckles low and was about to say some kind of remark when they hear someone clear their throat obnoxiously loud coming from their side.

Baekhyun moves away from Jeondae to look at whoever was trying to get their attention. Jeondae lets out a shaky exhale – her brain a little winded from what Baekhyun did.

_ What the fuck was that? _

“I expect for some kind of decency,” A voice snaps and it gathers Jeondae’s attention. Baekhyun is standing beside her now. The voice came from an old lady, with her face wrinkly and her back caved in. A mix of annoyance and disgust is painted on her face. She reminds Jeondae of those pretentious aunties that you loathe on seeing at reunions. “Afterall, you’re in a grocery store,” She continues to sneer. Jeondae was about to say an apology to her for being indecent (even if it was Baekhyun and his fucked-up way of teasing Jeondae!) but then the old lady mutters, “Couples these days.” With a click of her tongue while she shakes her head.

Jeondae freezes up and –  _ oh god, did she really think that. _

Jeondae starts to shake her head and hands and opens her mouth to clarify, but Baekhyun all of a sudden slips his hand on Jeondae’s waist and pulls her closer to him. Really close.  _ Like not a single space pressed tightly together close _ . “I’m sorry,” She can hear the wide smile on Baekhyun’s face. “I’m just really obsessed with her.” Baekhyun says as he presses his cheek on Jeondae’s temple.

And Jeondae doesn't even fight the blush on her face. Her head chants “This is not good” on loop.

The old lady looks at them, half in amusement and half in displeasure. She then turns her attention solely to Jeondae. Jeondae knows that her face is a deep shade of red while looking like a frightened kitten. Baekhyun squeezes Jeondae’s waist,  _ just play along _ Jeondae reads the gesture. So, she flashes a smile to the old lady and places her hand on Baekhyun’s hips and leans in closer to Baekhyun. She tries to look like the shy and non-touchy type of girlfriends and she hopes their act is convincing enough. The old lady clicks her tongue, still not amused with them, and then looks at Jeondae straight in the eye. “That obsession will only last for two years tops if you’re lucky, trust me,” She says with so much confidence, she then nods at Baekhyun, but she doesn’t break eye contact with Jeondae. “Your husband looks like he gets bored easily too – so enjoy it while it lasts.”

Baekhyun laughs out loud, Jeondae can feel the rumble from Baekhyun’s chest. While Jeondae looks mortified because the old lady is receptive enough to figure out Baekhyun  _ because he does get bored easily _ .

“I don’t think that’s a valid argument since we’re already in our eight-year of marriage.” Jeondae could have endured Baekhyun’s easy lie but then the other presses a gentle kiss on Jeondae’s temple to make it more convincing and Jeondae can feel her pulse skyrocket.

This only proves her point when she said that grocery shopping with Baekhyun only causes her stress.

“Eight?” The old lady repeats, she narrows her eyes and asks, “How old are you?”

“Twenty-six,” In this entire conversation, that sentence is the only truthful one Baekhyun said. The old lady does look impressed but then she gives them a knowing smirk.

“You knocked her up?” Jeondae straight up chokes on her own breath. Because _ what?! _

“Nope,” Baekhyun didn’t even wait for a millisecond to deny. He then quickly (and high unnecessarily adds), “That’s not the case at all, I found true love when I was 18 and I just couldn’t let her go.” He declares very proudly, as he places another kiss on Jeondae’s temple. Jeondae wants to melt into a puddle, right now. She doesn’t really have a problem with Baekhyun deceiving an extremely rude old lady, but Baekhyun is using Jeondae in the process – and if he continues this more, Jeondae’s brain might send a  _ shutdown _ signal to all of her internal organs.

The old lady studies them for a sec. Eyes looking thoroughly at Baekhyun and then at Jeondae. She even judges Baekhyun’s hand that’s tuck on Jeondae’s waist before she mumbles an “I see,” and gets out of the aisle. Jeondae releases a breath she doesn’t know that she was holding when she finally sees the lady gone.

Jeondae immediately elbows Baekhyun hard on his ribs, while she hisses a “Yah.” Baekhyun bursts out laughing while Jeondae continues to glare at him.

After Baekhyun calms down from laughing, he then pushes his cart. “You could have just ignored her, you know.”

“Yeah, I could have.” Baekhyun agrees as he looks at a still glaring (and still blushing) Jeondae. He’s smiling at her handsomely. “But where’s the fun in that?” he says with a wink.

Jeondae walks beside Baekhyun, as Baekhyun pushes out the shopping cart filled with their pack groceries. Jeondae was still thinking about the accident a while ago – it’s not a rare occurrence that people would think that they’re dating. They have had allegations like those ever since they were seven. Baekhyun knows it well enough that denying it will be no use, so most of the time they just let people go wild with their imagination. But, it’s not often for them to actually pretend to be in a relationship – and Jeondae doesn’t think that she’s emotionally stable for it to be a normal occurrence. She was about to mention this to Baekhyun, but then she realizes that Baekhyun is no longer beside her.

Jeondae looks behind her and sees Baekhyun standing a good two meters away from her – she’s about to call for him but then she follows her gaze and sees that Baekhyun is staring at a poster.

It’s a poster inviting everyone to ‘ _Chef Do’s_ ’ second branch opening – Soongkyu’s restaurant.


	3. Chapter Two

Jeondae isn’t really that fond of parties and clubs – ever since she became a high school art teacher. She’d rather be in resto-bars, all cooped up in warm jackets and beanies, chilling with friends with some indie band playing in the background. But here she is now, in one of the city’s most exclusive nightclubs – in a tight rose gold sequin dress that’s doing wonders on showing off all the right angles of her body.

Jeondae should’ve expected this when Chaeyeol was forcing her to dress up so they could attend Junmyeon’s birthday party together (read: Chaeyeol needs someone to attend the party with her so that she could flirt with Junmyeon). Chaeyeol also managed to convince their friend, Lei, to join them.

With the loud thumping of club music, alcohol spilling everywhere, people around her doing things that shouldn’t be done in public – Jeondae can’t help but get overwhelmed. She would’ve enjoyed this back in her college years but right now, she just sits at one of the tables in the corner conversing with Lei, as they both wait for Chaeyeol to get their drinks. Lei clearly wants to go on the dancefloor, but she worries that if she leaves Jeondae alone she’ll get swarmed with people trying to hit on her. Jeondae tells her that she’s not completely helpless and she can fend off for herself because in truth she really doesn’t want to leave the table since it gives a perfect view of Sehun’s table. Or more specifically at Baekhyun, with his hair swept to the side and the top buttons of his deep blue silk shirt undone, flirting with a girl with a bad bleach job.

Jeondae is just looking out if Baekhyun will go drinking again despite his oath that he won’t, Baekhyun even nominated himself as their designated driver – Jeondae knows that she’s only trying to rationalize her excuses, but she really can’t help it. She doesn’t get to ponder much on the thought because Chaeyeol finally comes back with a tray of drinks that are far too many just for three people, with an annoyed expression on her face.

_ Was the bartender rude? _

“I have a drastic and last-minute change of plans tonight.” Chaeyeol shouts, her voice determined and mad. She hands both Jeondae and Lei a shot glass. Jeondae’s eyes then catch Junmyeon in a steamy make-out session with someone else. “We’re in a club,” Chaeyeol uproars as she downs the shot glass, wincing a little at the burn. Lei follows suit, excited at Chaeyeol’s determination. They both look expectantly at Jeondae, Chaeyeol’s eyes silently pleading. Jeondae looks at the shot and tries to look at Baekhyun from her periphery, and yep he is still flirting with the same girl. Jeondae doesn’t even think when she straight-up drinks the shot, letting out a disgruntled sound with the burn and bad taste of alcohol. “And we’re gonna drink,” Chaeyeol adds, as she hands over another shot and they all down it together. “We’re gonna go to the dancefloor,” Chaeyeol hands in another shot, and of course they drink it. “And we’re gonna snag a ten and show these people who they’re missing out on.”

Jeondae lets out a loud “Yeah!” on the last part and then they’re off to the dancefloor – at first, it was just the three of them dancing and having fun – and then the drinks are finally getting to her and Jeondae is finally letting her body loose, the alcohol in her veins making her movements more relaxed and sensual. One moment Jeondae is dancing with her friends and then the next moment she sees Chaeyeol dancing with some guy and Lei is grinding with another girl. Jeondae finds herself in the arms of a guy, with a handsome face, dark and piercing eyes, a tall nose, a sharp jaw, and his thin pretty lips formed into a sultry smile.  _ Is that a dimple? _ He looks like he’s the same age with Jeondae but something in her head thinks that he’s a lot younger than her.

They’re far closer to each other than Jeondae’s first thought, his hands resting on Jeondae’s hips while Jeondae has her arms on his shoulder. When the club music turns into a slower jam, he leans in and presses their foreheads together. And Jeondae’s thought was, he’s really good looking – he almost looks like Junmyeon when he was younger. Their nose sliding together, their lips one breath away. Jeondae closes her eyes and when she opens them again. She sees the same heated eyes but now it’s droopy, protruding cheeks, but still has a sharp jaw, and then pouty lips with a cute little mole on the left side – and that’s what it takes for Jeondae to close the gap.

The kiss was hungry; it’s sloppy and messy.

The perfect example of what kind of kiss you’ll get from a club.

Jeondae’s hands slip up from his neck to his hair, tangling her fingers with the soft brown locks. His hands wrap around Jeondae’s small frame, pulling her flush to his chest. Jeondae arches her back up, she lets out a needy moan when he grinds his hips up with her – her skirt inches up her legs. His lips slide on Jeondae’s mouth and Jeondae lets out a whine that turns into a whimper when he latches them on her neck. Jeondae stretches her neck and turns her head to the side, granting him more access. Jeondae lets out a string of gasps and curses when he wedges his thigh in between Jeongdae legs and then guides her hips into a long purposeful grind. Putting enough pressure to her core that it makes Jeondae want more. 

Far too lost in the alcohol and the exhilarating feeling of publicly making out with someone.

Until she hears him let out a grunt that doesn’t sound Baekhyun at all, and Jeondae pulls away immediately, slightly pushing the stranger enough for her to look at him with bewildered eyes. Jeondae feels like she was slapped with cold water as she realizes that it’s not Baekhyun that’s in front of her, it’s not Baekhyun’s hands that are hanging dangerously low in the small of her back, it’s not Baekhyun’s lips that was on her a while ago.

Some part of Jeondae was screaming at her that it shouldn’t matter who’s in front of her – it doesn’t matter if it’s Baekhyun or not. She enjoyed it and she should dive right back in – try to not moan out Baekhyun’s name in the process.

But Jeondae acts on the more reasonable part of her head, as she shakes her head and mumbles out an apology – she untangles her hands from the stranger’s hair and steps further away. There’s a split second of fear in Jeondae’s features – afraid that the stranger will get mad at her or worse take her against her will but then she smiles at the stranger when he unwillingly lets her go, he raises up his hands in surrender and backs away still facing her.

Giving her enough time to think about letting him go, but Jeondae shakes her head.

He gives Jeondae a handsome smile before he salutes and turns away.

Jeondae tries to straighten her dress, pulling it down without her boobs spilling out, and scans her surroundings and sees no sign of either Chaeyeol nor Lei. Jeondae needs to sit and maybe clear her head first before she calls an uber and goes home. She tries to get back to their booth but it’s far more difficult than she imagined because the adrenaline is leaving her body and she feels like she can’t fully control her limbs anymore. Everything is starting to look the same, blurry. Everything is spinning and the speakers feel like it’s blasting directly in Jeondae’s ears.

Jeondae succeeds to walk (read: trudge) a couple of steps, legs wobbling because of her four-inch single strap heels. But a small nudge from a passing person, sends Jeondae stumbling to the side, she tries to brace herself from the impact – but it doesn’t come because a pair of arms wrap around Jeondae and saves her from the fall. It keeps her upright and Jeondae peers up to her savior. She’s met with droopy eyes – Baekhyun’s eyes – but it’s mad, almost like agitation and Jeondae closes her eyes and shakes her head. It’s bad enough that she’s now seeing Baekhyun’s face but now she’s also disturbing strangers. Jeondae says sorry, hoping that this stranger will understand. She tries to stand upright and leave but the hands around her tighten and the stranger says, “Yah, yah, yah! Kim Jeondae! Where do you think you’re going?” Jeondae blinks up, he sounds exactly like Baekhyun too. She also smells Baekyun’s perfume.

Jeondae is still not convinced, she’s really drunk, and she can’t really trust her better judgment. “Baekhyun?” Jeondae asks and the stranger, Baekhyun look-alike, laughs. Jeondae must have looked like she’s genuinely curious, with her eyes squinting if it’s really Baekhyun or not.

“Are you really that drunk that you don’t recognize me?” Baekhyun snorts in disbelief. Jeondae doesn’t respond as she continues to study Baekhyun. “Come on, I already have your bag. I’m taking you home.” He chuckles at her, and then hooks his arm around her waist securely and places one of Jeondae’s arms around his broad shoulders.

Jeondae’s mind is spinning like crazy so she doesn’t know how Baekhyun succeeded to get out of the club, get his car, and get Jeondae to sit and strap on the passenger seat. He even managed to get his coat wrapped around Jeondae. This car looks like Baekhyun’s Audi, it smells like it too.

Before Baekhyun goes to the driver’s seat, he leans down and grabs Jeondae’s ankles – Jeondae panics for a second before she realizes that Baekhyun is trying to remove Jeondae’s heels. Probably fed up with her constant complaining on how painful her feet are.

When Baekhyun gets rid of her shoes, he closes the door and walks to the driver’s side and slips right into it. He was about to start the engine when Jeondae lets out a worried gasp, “Can you please send a text to Chaeyeol and Lei that I’m already going home, they might get worried.” Baekhyun looks at her for a second before he laughs again and reaches out to smooth out her hair. Jeondae instinctively leans into the touch.

“We passed by them when we were leaving, Jeondaeyah.” Jeondae lets out an “Oh” sound, before she giggles. “Okay,” she whispers cheerfully. Baekhyun then starts the engine and they begin to drive.

Jeondae is usually a sleepy drunk and if she’s not sleeping – then most likely she’s talkative. Because she doesn’t have any ounce of rationality, she doubts if the one on the driver seat is Baekhyun once again.

“What’s your last name?” She asks randomly, trying to decipher if he really is Baekhyun.

“Byun,” He answers easily.

“What’s  _ my _ last name?” She points to herself

“Kim.”

“What’s your dog’s name?”

“Mongryong.”

“What’s my cat’s name?” Jeondae asks in a higher pitch. Head tilting to the side.

“Sushi.”

“When’s her birthday?”

“April 21,” Baekhyun spares her an exasperated glance.

“Wrong!” Jeondae corrects happily, she annoyingly and very drunkenly points at Baekhyun. “Sushi’s birthday is on the 21 st of April.” Maybe if Jeondae wasn’t drunk enough she would have caught Baekhyun’s eye roll. Jeondae laughs gleefully.

The random surge of energy to talk and the questions goes as fast as it comes because Jeondae lets out a yawn and starts to settle to a comfortable spot in the car.

“Are you going to sleep?” Baekhyun asks and Jeondae just hums lazily. Her eyelids are getting heavier by the second. “Were you seriously planning to go home with that guy you were grinding with?” Baekhyun clarifies and Jeondae doesn’t even think when she replies, “Just say that you’re jealous, Baekhyunnie” She yawns and folds her legs up and snuggles closer into herself, “It’s okay.”

“Not really,” If she wasn’t so drunk, she’d be really disheartened with Baekhyun’s quick response. “It’s just that, that guy reeks emotionally unavailable fuck boys, that have commitment and loyalty issues, you know the  _ all­-play-never-settle  _ type. You could bang whoever you want but, it just doesn’t sit well with me that those types of guys are gonna take you home.”

“Isn’t that ironic?” She mumbles, her mind is already in dreamland, but her mouth still has something to say before she fully drifts off, “You’re exactly that type of guy and you’re taking me home.”

Jeondae expects a really boring Friday night, one in which she'll heat up leftovers and eat it while that movie Chaeyeol keeps on bugging her to watch plays on her tv screen. Jeondae did not expect to find Baekhyun’s Audi parked in front of Jeondae’s school. Jeondae immediately goes to the car and opens the passenger seat and finds Baekhyun sitting on the driver seat in his work clothes; a white oversized sweatshirt and some baggy pants – Sehun is pretty lax with the dress codes so he lets everyone wear whatever they’re comfortable with.

“What are you doing here?” Jeondae asks as she straps on the seatbelt.

“Well, since I won’t be spending my Friday nights partying, I’ll just spend it annoying you!” Baekhyun happily chirps before starting the engine. “Come on, let’s eat some Thai food.”

This becomes a regular occurrence. Baekhyun’s excuses range from “I need to make sure you’re eating, you’re really getting skinnier,” to “I just want to grab dinner with you.” And Jeondae would be lying if she says that Baekhyun’s words don't make her heart skip a beat. Baekhyun frequently drops by at the school to invite Jeondae for dinner – Jeondae would sometimes visit Baekhyun for lunch when he’s working on the weekends. Sometimes, Jeondae and Baekhyun wait for the delivery to come as they both quietly work on Jeondae’s dining table. Other times they’ll try to cook something but end up making something inedible and they’ll result in ordering in.

There’s this one Saturday morning, Baekhyun walks into Jeondae’s apartment, completely unannounced (as always), while she prepares to do a general cleaning. Baekhyun quickly agrees to help Jeondae, almost too happy at the prospect of cleaning (or maybe at the prospect of hanging out with her? She doesn’t ponder on it as much).

Little did Baekhyun know that Jeondae was referring to the Minseok-level-type of cleaning.

It takes them a whole day to clean up Jeondae’s single bedroom and single bathroom apartment. And by the time they’re finished, Baekhyun and Jeondae exhaustedly melt on the couch, tired grunts escape their mouths. They stay like that for a moment, until Baekhyun points on the wall across them.

“I only realized now that I’m in the majority of the photos on the wall,” Baekhyun points out. Jeondae lifts her head and looks at what Baekhyun was referring to. The wall is scattered with picture frames of various sizes, all signifying a certain point in Jeondae's lifetime. One photo is of Jeondae and Baekhyun when they were seven, Jeondae smiles at the camera showing one of her front teeth missing while Baekhyun smiles wide beside her with his now signature boxy smile.

“If I knew that befriending you would cause me so many headaches, I would’ve run away,” Jeondae snorts as she points her chin towards the photograph.

Baekhyun booms in disbelief, “Yah, you don’t say that to the kid who bites anyone who would pull one of your pigtails!” Jeondae then laughs out because that’s a true story – maybe that’s why her seven-year-old self developed a crush on Baekhyun that time.

“I was so short back then,” Baekhyun grimaces, prolonging the “o” in “so”, as he points at another photograph on the far left of the wall. It’s both of them in their second year of high school. Jeondae is literally a head taller than Baekhyun, with one of her arms slung on Baekhyun’s then narrow shoulders. Baekhyun looks so ridiculous as he smirks at the camera with his long hair swept to the side – just like when Justin Bieber’s hair on his ‘One time’ Era. Jeondae, beside him, struggles to smile at the camera probably because of her braces.

“Yeah, you were.” Jeondae teases and they both laugh.

“I can’t believe they asked me to get a buzzed cut that time and let your hair slide,” Baekhyun complains while he points at another photograph, placed nearly in the middle. Jeondae follows his hand and laughs out loud when she finds it. That was the time when a professor filed a complaint against Baekhyun in the second semester of their second year in college because he had a mullet with bright red highlights. Baekhyun’s disciplinary action was to get a buzzed cut. That same professor didn't even bat an eyelash at Jeondae’s hair.

In the photograph, Jeondae was wearing a black Hawaiian shirt over her bright red two-piece and Baekhyun was behind her (now way taller and broader than her) shirtless, his arms wrapped around Jeondae’s neck. And Baekhyun does have a buzzed cut, his ears stick out prominently, while Jeondae’s long and wet hair is in a nice shade of platinum blonde. While they both smile drunkenly at the camera.

“That’s spring break, right?” Jeondae asks and Baekhyun nods. “I honestly still can’t remember what happened at that time.”

“You can’t remember anything when you’re drunk.” Baekhyun snorts out. “Let’s get cleaned up, we need to sleep early because we’re cleaning my apartment tomorrow.” Jeondae gives Baekhyun a ‘can you repeat that again’ face. “I helped you clean, isn’t it only fitting that you’ll help me too?”

“I didn’t ask for your help!”

“I’m not asking for your help as well! Because you’re obligated to help!”

Jeondae did end up helping Baekhyun clean his apartment.

On other weekends, they’ll be at Baekhyun’s apartment. Jeondae lies on the couch, one hand scrolling the manhwa she’s reading, the other gently scraping Baekhyun’s scalp. Baekhyun’s head rests on Jeondae’s tummy, eyes never leaving his big ass tv screen, hands stuck on his game controller.

It’s almost midnight, Jeondae and Baekhyun try out the famous fish tacos at one of the food stalls along the Han river.

“I don’t think I’ll get tired of this,” Jeondae exclaims loudly as she finishes the last bite of her taco. They already ate three servings together but Jeondae’s stomach feels like there’s still a space for one more.

“I now know why the lines are always long, I won’t mind lining up for a good hour for these,” Baekhyun interjects before drinking his soft drink. Even if it’s late, there are still some people buying from the food stand – one could only imagine how long it is during the daytime.

“Honey, do you want the chili one or just the regular one?” Jeondae and Baekhyun both stop with what they’re doing. Jeondae doesn’t even dare to breathe, eyes wide with what she just heard. The voice came from behind them. Before they could do anything, a voice answers, “Just get one of each, sweetheart.” Jeondae can literally see how Baekhyun’s soul left his body. Beyond mortified with what he just heard.

Jeondae dares to look behind her and sees Soongkyu as she gets her orders from the food truck. Her hair is longer now, the last time Jeondae saw her she was rocking a bob but now it’s on the shoulder length. She still uses thick frame glasses. Aside from the change of her hair, nothing about her changed at all.

Maybe, Jeondae thinks, Soonkyu felt the weight of her stare, because she turns her head and immediately spots Jeondae. Jeondae sees, more than hears, Soongkyu’s gasp as she looks surprised and shocked at the sight of Jeondae – and when Soongkyu’s eyes drift from Jeondae to the person beside her. Soongkyu doesn’t know what to do nor react and Jeondae understands because she shares the same sentiment.

Jeondae’s eyes leave Soongkyu and go to Baekhyun who looks overwhelmed. It took him a second before Baekhyun schools his expression into a smile. He’s eerily calm, the anger and annoyance simmering slowly. She notices how tight Baekhyun’s jaw are and her stomach plummets down to the ground – fear of what Baekhyun’s up to weighing it down.

Jeondae then looks back at Soongkyu, who still looks bewildered at the sight, she only relaxes when Lu Han places a hand on her shoulder. Lu Han is Soongkyu’s sous-chef. A person that Baekhyun would often time get jealous of because of how much time Soongkyu and Han spend together. Apparently, Lu Han is now Soongkyu’s boyfriend?

“Hey,” Baekhyun says to Soongkyu and Lu Han, his voice remains unfazed, as he stands up and walks towards them. He then turns to Jeondae and gestures her to stand up, the moment Jeondae does, Baekhyun quickly places his hand on her hips. Lu Han and Soongkyu briefly eye Baekhyun’s hand.

_ She knows where exactly this is going _ .

Jeondae can see how Soongkyu swallows and says, “You look cute together.” There’s something in Soongkyu’s voice that Jeondae doesn’t understand – but it seems like the other two do because they both pause. The air is so thick despite the fact that they’re out in the open.

“You too,” Baekhyun replies, Jeondae can hear a little strain from his voice - small little crack on the big nonchalant wall he quickly built. Baekhyun drops his hand from Jeondae’s waist and holds Jeondae’s hand – he intertwines their fingers together even when Jeondae’s palms are sweating from the tension. Baekhyun’s no better than hers.

“Love?” Baekhyun asks her with a tug of her hand. Jeondae doesn’t have any idea on what her heart is feeling. Is it happy with Baekhyun calling her that? Is it wailing because it knows that it’s just an act? “Let’s go?” Baekhyun quirks his lips up, but his eyes are genuinely asking for him to agree. Jeondae nods her head very timidly. Baekhyun says his goodbye to the couple with a nod before he dutifully turns away.

“Wait,” Soongkyu calls for them. “My new restaurant is opening up and if you want to, it’d be a pleasure if you both came.”

“Looking forward to it,” is Baekhyun’s curt reply as he tugs Jeondae away.

“It’s nice seeing you Soo, Han,” Jeondae talks for the first time and then she waves goodbye to them, even when Baekhyun was dragging her away with a tight grip on her hands. The couple waves back at them.

Jeondae doesn’t know how many minutes have passed since their run-in with Soongkyu but Baekhyun never muttered a single word ever since. His gaze only fixed at the moving water, his hold on Jeondae’s hand still tight, while they both sat on a bench overlooking the river. Baekhyun looks like he’s far into deep thoughts with how hard his lips are pressed in a thin line and his eyebrows are furrowed. His jaw clenched and other hand balled into a fist, knuckles turning white with how hard he grips them.

His whole body is tense, with his back ramrod straight.

His face looks like it’s about to explode.

Jeondae can only guess what’s going on in Baekhyun’s head. Because in reality, Jeondae and Baekhyun aren’t really dating - but Soo and Han are. Just when she thought that he’s finally moving on. Jeondae is just scared of the possibility of Baekhyun relapsing to his old coping mechanism.

They go on for a couple more minutes without exchanging a single word – that is until Baekhyun breaks the silence, “I just feel betrayed.” His voice sounds so tired, his face more so. “I don’t know if they were already a thing when we were still together… I don’t know if she cheated on me… I don’t even know the exact reason why we broke up anymore… Fuck!” Tears pool in Baekhyun’s eyes and Jeondae pulls him in for a hug. She can feel how Baekhyun crumbles in her arms, as he finally bursts out crying.

All the anger and pain cracking and crumbling down, leaving Baekhyun melted in sadness.

“I just know that she’d always deny that there’s something between them. Was that all a lie?”

And that’s how they spent their Friday night, with Jeondae holding Baekhyun in her arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you get the taylor swift lyrics reference - i wuvv u


	4. Chapter Three

Jeondae didn’t know why she agreed with this stupid plan since she knows that there’s a high possibility that this will end with her chest hurting from a heartbreak. To make matters worse, she puts an insane amount of time and effort into this – more than what should be necessary.

“Well, you could have said no to him,” Chaeyeol offers a suggestion as she lays on Jeondae’s bed, Jeondae has her bag against the other but she can see the reflection of Chaeyeol’s body clad in her post work out gym clothes (because she was supposed to spend another hour in the gym but a distress call from Jeondae has her running towards the shorter one’s apartment).

“Try to say no to his puppy dog eyes,” Jeondae counters as she slips on a black bondage skirt. She’s dressing in her small walk-in closet. “It’s absolutely impossible to deny him anything if he uses those eyes against you,” Jeondae says as she zips up the skirt.

“Then close your eyes when he pleads? Is it really  _ that  _ hard for you to say no?” Jeondae looks at the full-length mirror and checks herself out. Her white button-down looks pressed and formal, while her skirt is tight but classy at the same time. “Does this look, okay?” Jeondae asks as she faces Chaeyeol who looks pained at the sight of Jeondae.

“You’ll look like you’re gonna be the one waiting tables, instead of going on a dinner date with your fake boyfriend.” Chaeyeol deadpans.

“It can’t be that bad?” Jeondae asks and Chaeyeol’s judgmental look was enough. Jeondae rolls her eyes as she unzips the skirt and slips out of it. Next is her white button-down – Jeondae sighs because she needs to iron it again since there’s already fold marks on it.

“You still haven’t answered my question,” Chaeyeol calls out.

“What question?” Jeondae asks back as she pulls out a dress she’s looking for from the rack.

“Is it really that hard for you to say no? To Baekhyun? You’re even putting so much effort into this.”

“Technically, it’s still a date.”

“And technically you’re going on a fake date as a revenge plot for his ex,” Jeondae hears the tightness of Chaeyeol’s jaw from her tone. She slips into the dress and zips it up and looks at the full mirror once again. “Besides snagging a date from Baekhyun is not much of a big of a deal. Unless you have feelings for him.”

Jeondae makes a mistake of going quiet. She should’ve laughed it off and said something along the lines of “Me? Having feelings for Baekhyun? Please…” But instead, she stays quiet.

“No fucking way,” Chaeyeol curses out loud. “Kim Jeondae, answer me.”

“Yes, but let’s not talk about it right now. How do I look?” Jeondae asks as she faces the other wearing a cream dress button-down – with a round collar and some stitched flower accents at the hem. With the right hair and makeup, Jeondae can look like she just came out from a 50s movie.

But Chaeyeol doesn’t answer her. Instead, she gives her a look of disbelief and asks, “For how long?” Jeondae rolls her eyes because she doesn’t  _ need  _ this right now. “Kim Jeondae, for how long?” Chaeyeol repeats before she squints her eyes and says, “You don’t know, don’t you? You’ve been in this one-sided pinning bullshit for so long that you can’t even remember when it started.” Chaeyeol nods to herself, her eyes go wide, and she looks at Jeondae. “He doesn’t even know?”

“If he does know, do you really think he’d ask me to pretend to be his girlfriend?” Jeondae points out. Chaeyeol then gives her a determined look and says. “We’re gonna make you look so bomb. He’d ask you to be his girlfriend for real.” Jeondae just laughs because that’s not her plan at all, but she’s not really complaining.

“That dress would’ve been cute for a picnic date after attending church on a Sunday.” Chaeyeol says as she appreciatively runs her eyes on Jeondae, “Dainty and sweet.” Jeondae smiles wider before Chaeyeol adds, “And also, very boring. We need something with more spice.”

Jeondae groans but slips out of the dress, nevertheless. The next dress she tries on doesn’t just have  _ something with more spice _ , it’s probably all the imaginable spices in the world combined.

Jeondae feels like this is the hardest article of clothing that she ever put on but the wolf-whistle Chaeyeol lets out makes it worth it. Jeondae’s not gonna lie, she can’t breathe – the red latex dress is so tight that it’s crushing Jeondae’s lungs.

“You’re so hot,” Chaeyeol blurts out without thought as she stares at Jeondae. Jeondae looks at herself and it doesn’t just fit her like a glove – it practically clings to her like a second skin. It captures all her body lines, the clinch of her waist, the swell of her breasts, and the arch of her butt.

“I don’t think I can even sit in this without the dress riding up over my ass,” Jeondae admits, “I don’t think I can wear it tonight.”

“I agree,” Chaeyeol easily agrees, her still staring at Jeondae’s body appreciatively. “You should wear it the next time we’ll go clubbing.”

“Hey Dae,” Jeondae hears Chaeyeol’s voice as she peels off the dress from her body. “If you manage to will away your unrequited feelings for Baekhyun, do you want to date me?” Jeondae laughs at the hopeful tone in Chaeyeol’s voice. “I’m serious. I might turn full homo for you.”

“Let’s see,” Jeondae answers coyly before laughing. When she emerges from her closet, Jeondae is wearing a tangerine-colored dress – it’s a plain boxy type (like a t-shirt dress but more formal). Jeondae didn’t even have the chance to ask how she looks because Chaeyeol is already running her mouth, “You look like you’re going to a family reunion and you just found out that you’re six weeks pregnant yesterday and you’re trying to hide the non-existent bump from your family because they don’t approve of your current boyfriend since he has some deadass cheater vibes within him.”

“You could have just said that it looks like a maternity dress,” Jeondae grumbles as she goes back to her closet and slips off the dress.

Jeondae rakes over her closet and then she randomly pulls out a hanger from the rack; lo and behold it contains the perfect dress! It’s a black tube dress, with thin black feathers in the neckline, it’s made with a thick material making the dress structured like it’s nicely wrapped in her upper torso then it slightly flares out from her waist down the mid-thigh (where the dress stops). Plus!! The dress has pockets! “Okay, I don’t care whether you like this dress or not – I like this one and I’m gonna wear it tonight,” Jeondae says as she turns to Chaeyeol and the other girls look at her in awe.

Far too speechless at the sight and Jeondae basks in the attention.

“I love it.” Chaeyeol finally manages to say as she stands up and approaches Jeondae. “That dress is perfect! Your legs even look longer than mine!” Jeondae looks at herself in the mirror and Chaeyeol’s right, plus it also shows her collar bones, shoulders and the expanse of her neck. Jeondae gives herself that signature cat smile that she has.

“Wear these shoes,” Chaeyeol says as she holds up a pair of black single strap black high heels. “Baekhyun won’t mind if you’re gonna tower him, right?”

“I don’t think he will.” Jeondae gleefully answers as she takes the heels from Chaeyeol.

“Come on! Let’s fix your hair and makeup!”

While Chaeyeol is busy curling up Jeondae’s hair, she replies to Baekhyun’s text asking her what she’s gonna wear.

Baekhyun sees Jeondae before she sees him, so she doesn’t see his initial reaction. She’s busy fixing the contents of her bag when Baekhyun stepped inside her apartment, that’s why she didn’t notice. Only when Chaeyeol opens her mouth did she look up and finds Baekhyun standing there in the middle of her living room looking like a five-course meal. He’s in tailored slacks, a black suit jacket with a vertical column of black studs on each side, underneath it is a white polka-dotted black shirt with the first few buttons unbuttoned. His hair ruffled to the side and his neckline topped with necklaces. Jeondae eyes him appreciatively.

Jeondae smiles at Baekhyun’s dumbfounded face. “Really?” Chaeyeol asks Baekhyun, in disbelief. “Really?” Chaeyeol repeats herself. “Nothing?” Her tone almost sounds like she’s irritated if she isn’t so amused. “Not a single ‘Woah’? A gasp? Or any reaction at all?” Chaeyeol demands once again and Jeondae just laughs, her eyes shining brightly, with her face scrunching up. Baekhyun looks embarrassed at Chaeyeol’s call out. “Nothing? Only a blank stare? Really? I spend my entire Sunday making her look like that,” She gestures at Jeondae with her hands while she’s still facing Baekhyun. “And there’s not a single reaction from you? Even out of appreciation of effort?”

“Come on, Yeollie, stop teasing Baekhyunnie.” Jeondae nudges Chaeyeol lightly, as she slings her bag and approaches Baekhyun. “You look nice,” Baekhyun finally compliments her, although there’s a hint of strain in his voice, and it triggers another tirade from Chaeyeol that Jeondae doesn’t only look  _ nice _ . Jeondae gives Baekhyun an “ignore her” look and smiles at him brightly.

“I know.” Jeondae chirps. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

Baekhyun offers to drop Chaeyeol off before they go to Soongkyu’s restaurant. But that turns out to be a bad idea because Chaeyeol only ended up teasing Baekhyun more. “I’m gonna be honest with you, Byun. I don’t trust you,” Chaeyeol says in such a motherly and authoritative tone, her face dead serious. Jeondae tries not to smack her hand on her face (or Chaeyeol’s mouth) because Baekhyun looks scared - he actually looks petrified. “You’re only allowed to hold her hand. No kissing, no touching, no hugging – first base, second base, third base, and home run are off-limits. If my daughter is not home by nine o’clock sharp, then I’m gonna call the police and say that you kidnapped her.”

“Chaeyeol.” Jeondae interrupts.

“It’s mom for you missy,” Chaeyeol corrects Jeondae and she sounds so much like a mom, Jeondae almost forgets what she’s gonna say.

“Shut the hell up,” Jeondae says to her friend, but her tone is as light as ever. “I’m older than you. I can take care of myself.”

Chaeyeol still makes an “I’m watching you” hand gesture at Baekhyun and Jeondae laughs.

They pull out of the driveway of the restaurant and the place looks amazing. Warm mahogany exterior and tall glass windows with ambient yellow light streaking out from the inside. Jeondae gets out of the car and Baekhyun is quick to her side.

She turns her face to Baekhyun and asks, “Are you ready?”

There’s anxiety slowly simmering in the pit of her stomach – like what if they’ll look ridiculous and be awkward. It’s gone the moment Baekhyun also turns to her to smile as he interlaces their fingers together. “Yeah.” He mutters before he tugs on Jeondae inside.

Soongkyu’s restaurant is so beautiful. Jeondae takes in a full minute just to admire the expensive interior. Once they sit at the table they fall into an easy conversation – like the normal. Jeondae tells him about her day with Chaeyeol and Baekhyun tells her about his day. The food is absolutely amazing from the appetizer to dessert (Baekhyun says that they could go all out and Jeondae isn’t the one to pass the opportunity). Jeondae feels like she’s in heaven with how amazing her steak is. She’d even feed Baekhyun some of the slices. Baekhyun would also return the favor by feeding Jeondae some of the fish from his plate.

The night goes really well.

Like they’re not faking a relationship at all.

Once Baekhyun settles the bill, they are about to leave the restaurant when someone calls for Baekhyun behind them. They both turn to look and there stands an old lady. She looks really familiar… with her petite frame and round eyes…

“Mrs. Do,” Baekhyun says in a greeting before he does a small bow. Jeondae follows suit. She’s  _ Soongkyu’s mom _ . She smiles brightly at them as she approaches.

“I did not expect to see you here,” She says to him before her eyes land on Jeondae. Jeondae feels like her pulse skyrocket because this can’t be good. “You must be his new girlfriend?” She asks, she doesn’t wait for Jeondae to respond because she asks another question. “If you don’t mind young dear, can I talk to Baekhyun privately for a sec?” Even if the tone is not taunting – Jeondae shivers through her nod.

Baekhyun gives her a wary look and Jeondae was quick to give him a smile, telling him that it’s okay. She really doesn’t want to be anywhere near Soongkyu’s mom. Not when in her eyes, Jeondae is the girl who snaked her future son in law away from her daughter.

“I’ll wait for you outside.” Jeondae bows at them both before she politely excuses herself. Restaurant staff greets her as she walks out of the restaurant.

Maybe luck really wasn’t on her side because outside she’s met with Soongkyu who looks like she just got off the phone. She’s dressed in her chef uniform. All pristine and white - she looks so cute and petite if it wasn’t for the air of intimidation surrounding her.

Jeondae smiles at her and Soongkyu returns it.

“The food was beyond amazing. As always.” Jeondae compliments, not really knowing how to initiate small talk. Soongkyu flashes her another blinding smile.

“I’m glad you liked it,” Soongkyu responds, voice grateful and honored. She’s always down to earth, one of the many things that Jeondae admired her for. She motions for the restaurant and informs Jeondae, “I’ll have to go back.” Jeondae nods in understanding, she then gives her a thumbs up referring that it’s okay. But Soongkyu didn’t go back to the restaurant as she said. Instead, she marches forward to where Jeondae is standing, much to Jeondae’s surprise.

“I’m sorry but I need to get this off my chest,” Soongkyu lets out in a hushed tone. The sense of urgency in there and Jeondae is scared that she’ll end up getting hit by Soongkyu’s palm. Jeondae sends a little prayer because she really can’t hit hard, even to defend herself. She curls into herself, trying to look as small as she can - a stark contrast to Soongkyu’s upright stance. “You’re not really dating, aren’t you?” Soongkyu doesn’t even look at her suspiciously.  _ She looks at Jeondae knowingly _ . Jeondae stops, her eyebrows arched high and her mouth agape for a brief second before she recomposes herself. She’s surprised with Soongkyu’s bold (but awfully right) allegation but it doesn’t stop her from opening her mouth, ready to deny but the other beat her to it.

“Denying it will be useless,” Soongkyu says and her arms make a dismissive gesture. Were they really that bad at acting? Jeondae thinks “Don’t get me wrong, it’s not because your acting was crap.” Soongkyu says as if she heard Jeondae’s thoughts. “Trust me everyone was pretty convinced with the stunt you and Baekhyun pulled. You guys look very much in love, the epitome of a couple in a healthy and happy relationship.”

“Because we are,” Jeondae tries to convince Soongkyu. Surprised that her voice is even when her hands are quaking from nervousness.

“But your eyes gave you away,” Soongkyu says with a sigh, almost like she’s disappointed that she found out that they’re only faking it.

The confused look on Jeondae’s face doesn’t fade. She looks at Baekhyun with her eyes forming hearts. How could that possibly be the reason why they don’t look like a couple? “You still look at Baekhyun like you always do. Your eyes have that content glint. How do I explain this?” Soongkyu takes a couple of seconds to collect her thoughts, “You look at him and your eyes light up. Light up in wonder, in happiness, in love. But it’s bordered with acceptance. Like, you already accepted that he’ll never look at you the same way.”

Jeondae can’t utter a word. Her throat is tight, as it doesn’t let a single sound out of her mouth. Her brain is probably fired up, so many questions and thoughts are passing through her mind.

_ Because Soongkyu is right _ .

When she was finally able to speak, the first thing she said was, “I’m sorry.” Jeondae swallows the lump of guilt in her throat.

She’s not only guilty because they went over their way to make Soongkyu jealous tonight. She feels guilty because Soongkyu probably saw the way she looks at Baekhyun when they were still together and Jeondae cannot even think about how insecure Soongkyu felt because of her. “I’m so sorry, Soongkyu – believe me, I never made a move on him.” Jeondae hopes that she sounds as genuine as she feels.

“I know, Jeondae. Believe me, I know.” Soongkyu amends. Her tone shifts from her then assertive one to a warm one. But it was only there for a brief second because her past tone is back in an instant, “Although, you did make me possessive over him. Far more than I would ever admit. I didn’t want him near you – the possessiveness became this thin bubble of anxiety and one day it just… It just popped.” Soongkyu frowns to herself. Jeondae doesn’t know what to feel – shame, guilt, and embarrassment all fighting over her face. “I asked him to choose between the two of us and I guess you already have an idea on who he chose.”

Jeondae can’t help, she closes the gap between them and hugs Soongkyu. Soongkyu stills for a couple of seconds before she melts in Jeondae’s hug. Jeondae whispers a string of apologies in Soongkyu's ear. “I didn’t mean to. I would never want you to feel like that. Believe me. I’m so sorry.” Jeondae fights the tears that are threatening to roll off her eyes.

Soongkyu breaks the hug and holds her at arm’s length. Jeondae can see Soongkyu’s teary-eyed. “I don’t blame you, Jeondae. Don’t worry. You don’t even have to say sorry,” Soongkyu assures. She gives Jeondae a bright smile - it doesn’t meet her eyes but it appeases Jeondae a little. “It’s fine. I’m really happy, now.  _ Happier _ .”

Her car ride home with Baekhyun is a quiet one. Jeondae was too distracted with her own thoughts to engage in some conversation with Baekhyun. Even the song on the radio is not enough to drown out her thoughts (all revolving from her conversation with Soongkyu). She asked Soongkyu to grab some coffee sometime, just to talk and the chef said that Jeondae can invite her anytime. But it’s Soongkyu’s parting words that were boggling him,  _ “I was really surprised that it’s fake though. I thought one of you would have made their move by now.” _

“Baek?” Jeondae breaks the air of silence around them. She has her eyes fixed on her intertwined fingers. Baekhyun turns to her for a brief second before his eyes dart back on the road. “Why did Soongkyu break up with you?”

“Didn’t I already tell you this? Our priorities didn’t match. She didn’t want to compromise. I, even more so.”

“If you get the chance, will you do it again?”

Baekhyun lets out a noise of confusion so Jeondae rephrases. His head tilts to the side. “If you’ll get a reset pass. Another shot on the night that you broke up. Will you choose to compromise to keep her? To keep Soongkyu?”

“Maybe?” Baekhyun says before he adds, “I’m honestly not sure if I made the right decision or not.”

Jeondae remains quiet after that. Because her little bubble of happiness coming from the thought that Baekhyun chose her over Soongkyu gets pricked by Baekhyun’s admission that some part of him regrets it. Some part of him wishes for a do-over so that he can choose Soongkyu.

And for the first time in the history of her life, she thinks that maybe it’s time to finally let her one-sided love for Baekhyun go and take a step back.

“Thank you for driving me home,” Jeondae says once Baekhyun pulls over Jeondae’s apartment driveway.

“Well, what type of boyfriend am I if I didn’t drive you home?” Baekhyun jokes and Jeondae laughs, almost bitterly. Jeondae unbuckles her seat belt and was about to go out of the door when Baekhyun held her back by holding her wrist. Jeongdae looks at Baekhyun over her shoulder.

“Thank you for doing this for me,” Baekhyun says, Jeondae can feel every bit of Baekhyun’s sincerity. Jeondae just snorts, before she responds,

“We’re best friends Baekhyun, I'd do anything for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk if you guys are interested but this is [the dress](https://www.eonline.com/ap/photos/27706/the-best-red-carpet-looks-from-u-5g-the-fact-music-awards-2019/926367) the I have in mind when I was writing about what Jeondae will wear for her fake date with Baekhyun.
> 
> The scene where girl!Chanyeol joked about going full homo for girl!Jongdae is the first ever conversation for this fic I created in my head. Since my head is always baekchen oriented Baekhyun came into the mix, otherwise this would've been a genderbend chanchen fic. lol.


	5. Chapter Four

But it seems like Baekhyun has other plans because if Jeondae takes one step back he won’t just take one step forward, he would wrap his arms around Jeondae and cling to her like his life depends on it. Like, he will never give any chance for Jeondae to back away from him.

Did Baekhyun become clingier? Or this is normal for them, it’s just that Jeondae is consciously  _ trying _ (she’s doing her best but Baekhyun is making it difficult) to distance herself. Jeondae tries to make up dumb excuses just to avoid Baekhyun, but the other seems to know when she’s lying, and he doesn’t get fazed by Jeondae’s blatant avoidance. If Jeondae is really busy, Baekhyun will make sure to call Jeondae and ask about her day – much like how Baekhyun will ask if they’re eating dinner together.

And if she’s being honest, Jeondae didn’t really step back. She just stops clinging on to Baekhyun, clinging on the thought of Baekhyun liking her back.

Jeondae knows if she’s really serious with this avoidance thing she could just straight up tell Baekhyun to stay away, but Baekhyun won’t stay away from her that easily because he needs a valid reason. And she knows that she’s not brave enough to tell Baekhyun;  _ “Hey, I’m sort of madly in love with you but it’s okay because I’m trying to will away the romantic part of it and I can’t do that if you are acting like you’re in love with me too.” _

Jeondae’s not ready for that.

She doesn’t think that she’ll ever be ready for that.

So, what she does is try to not fall any harder than she already is.

Try to redirect her life so that it doesn’t revolve around a single person.

Sometimes, Jeondae thinks that she could definitely handle not having Byun Baekhyun as the center of her universe. But more often than not, there are times when it feels like impossible.

Just like now, when they’re in Junmyeon’s living room playing card games with their other friends and Jeondae is practically sitting on Baekhyun’s lap with how the other squeezed himself on the chair that Jeondae is sitting on. No one seems to mind their position, even when Baekhyun secures a hand on her waist to stop Jeondae from going anywhere. The only upside in this is that Jeondae gets free tips from Baekhyun on how to deal with her cards. They play a couple of card games and then it becomes too boring for them, so they add liquor into the games. Jeondae gets drunk easily for consecutively losing a couple of rounds. They all fall into that drunken mess – some more drunk than others. Jeondae doesn’t know when she exactly fell asleep because all she remembers were fragments.

Baekhyun asks her if she’s okay, and then there’s Junmyeon cursing out loud. She hears Sehun’s drunk voice, asking “Are you two already dating?” and then Chaeyeol’s “Baekhyun you could take her in Myeon’s room.” And then her last memory was Baekhyun whispering, voice low and deep, “Not in that way.”

  
  


♔

It’s been a whole week since Jeondae last saw Baekhyun. Ever since the night at Junmyeon’s house, they haven’t exchanged a single word to each other. On one hand, Jeondae is relieved that Baekhyun is finally letting her take a step back. But on the other hand, Jeondae can’t help but be anxious about Baekhyun’s absence.

Maybe a week ago, Jeondae might appreciate this distance between them. Appreciate that she could finally practice what it’s like to live a life with a centerless universe in it. Maybe she would have been grateful.

But, the unannounced absence makes Jeondae’s heart squeeze - painful enough that it gets hard to breathe at night.

She tries to kill the anticipation pooling in her belly with every passing night she expects Baekhyun to come and barge in her apartment. There are times that she has to curl her fingers into a ball, just to prevent her from texting Baekhyun first.

She needs to find out what happened that night in Junmyeon's bedroom before she can talk to Baekhyun.

Jeondae asks everyone at the gathering if they heard or noticed something but most were too drunk to remember anything accurate. The only helpful information he got is from Minseok saying that Baekhyun was determined to get drunk right after he put Jeondae to bed.

Jeondae wants nothing more than to call Baekhyun and ask him herself, but the thought of Baekhyun hiding the entire story or even brushing it off and denying this scares the living daylights out of Jeondae.

How it will probably send her mind into an overthinking wormhole (far worse than it already is).

  
  


Jeondae is in a meeting and the head of the art department asks her to do the minutes of the meeting. She cannot believe her eyes when she opens the sound recorder app on her phone and there’s a voice memo there. It was recorded at two in the morning on the night of the small get together in Junmyeon’s house. It’s almost 5 minutes short. Jeondae tries not to get her hopes up, because she was really drunk that night and, she anticipates that it could be a randomly made voice memo that doesn’t include Baekhyun at all. Because what are the odds that a really drunk Jeondae will be rational enough to have the foresight to record her drunken conversation with Baekhyun?

When Jeondae comes home after the meeting the first thing she does is open the voice memo and her heart plummets into her throat with the first sentences she hears from it.

“Hello future Jeondae this is me Jeondae from the past,” Her own words are so slurred because of the alcohol. Jeondae remembers the nasty hungover she had just from hearing her own voice. “I’m recording this because you might not remember how I’ll confess my feelings to Baekhyun.”

Jeondae stops the recording in an instant. The blood drains away from her body and Jeondae shivers even when she’s wearing an oversized wool sweater

_ It’s not a drunk conversation but a drunk confession _ . Now, everything makes so much sense. She curses her drunk self and the false sense of bravery coming from alcohol – her drunk self made a coward’s way out. Jeondae takes a couple of calming breaths before she proceeds to play the recording. Jeondae can hear some footsteps and then Baekhyun’s voice,

“Who were you talking to?” Jeondae can hear the tipsiness from Baekhyun’s voice.

Drunk Jeondae ignores Baekhyun’s question as she starts very candidly, “Soongkyu talked to me that night. She said you broke up because of me.” There was silence after that. Jeondae can only imagine the shock on Baekhyun’s face that night. “Then you told me you regret it.” Jeondae’s heart squeezes because she can hear the self-pity in her own voice? How dejected she sounds having to admit it out loud to Baekhyun. Jeondae hears Baekhyun apologize profusely and offers an explanation, but Jeondae cuts him and asks, “Baekhyun, can you see me?”

“Yeah, it’s a little dark but I can see you.” There’s confusion in Baekhyun's voice.

“No,” Drunk Jongdae corrects, “Can you  _ see  _ me? Because  _ I can see you _ .”

“I don’t understand,” Baekhyun grows more confused and so is current Jeondae.

“When I look at you, I don’t see you.” Current Jeondae curls onto the edge of the couch and buries her head on her palms as she groans,  _ what was she even saying?! _

“You’re really drunk, Dae,” Baekhyun says with a breathless chuckle. “I think you should go to sleep now.”

“When I look at you, I don’t  _ just _ see you.” Drunk Jeondae snaps. No matter how drunk she sounds, anyone can tell that she’s serious with her words. Drunk Jeondae lets out a cute little hiccup before she talks again, “I don’t just see you. I see a bright and sunny person— who… Who works too hard, plays a little harder.  _ Plays a lot harder, _ ” Drunk Jeondae laughs a little. “I see someone who’s smart and caring – and would always, always make an effort to make everyone comfortable. Make everyone feel safe and secure even if it’s at their own expense. I look at you and it’s like my lungs would contract and my chest would quake, and my insides would tangle up, but my heart would soar. High on the feeling of love, high on my choice to love you.” Then there’s a stretch of silence that follows and Jeondae thinks that it’s finished but she hears her own voice once again, “I look at you and I would think, ‘Woah, that’s my entire source of happiness, right there’.”

There’s not a single word that comes after and Jeondae can’t blame any of them because she’s speechless herself. Her heart contracts every single time she breathes but the pain centers on her heart and radiates out her entire body. She feels like she can’t breathe through all the lumps in her throat. Her eyes brimmed with tears that didn't fall, she doesn’t know if the sniffles she’s hearing are from herself or her drunk self.

Jeondae was about to end the voice memo but Baekhyun suddenly talks, “Dae…” Judging from the sound, it sounds like Baekhyun was forcing her name out of his throat. All in the effort to say something. Jeondae can hear a tiny – almost inaudible – whimper. “If I close my eyes it’s you, Baekhyun. It’s still you. Sometimes, I feel like I’m stirring crazy but it’s okay. Because it’s you, Baekhyun. It’s always gonna be you.” Jeondae’s voice is so hoarse, but what breaks her heart is how hopeful she sounds. “So, I’m going to ask again. Can you see me?”

Jeondae doesn’t get to hear what Baekhyun has to say because she already lets out a loud sob.

It doesn’t matter anymore since she already knows anyway.

Jeondae heavily trudges herself to her bed and ends up crying the whole night.

Jeondae didn’t stop – can’t stop the stream of tears rolling from her eyes. Only finding comfort from her ragdoll breed cat, Sushi, cuddling up to her.

When Jeondae wakes up the next morning (already late afternoon), she drowsily checks her phone. There were a couple of texts there from her co-teachers. She finds a text from Baekhyun – asking if she wants to talk to him.

Jeondae waits for Baekhyun at a restaurant that they agreed to meet at. Her eyes stare at her hands placed on her lap, clasped together to prevent them from shaking. Her legs twitching involuntarily. Her chin is low so she doesn’t notice it when Baekhyun walks inside the restaurant – she only notices when he sits on the chair across her. Jeondae doesn’t know what she expects Baekhyun to look like after not seeing him for a week, Jeondae doesn’t look any better, but she doesn’t expect Baekhyun to look  _ this _ disgruntled. He still looks like Baekhyun, but there are dark bags under his eyes and her face looks sullen. Even when he smiles at Jeondae, there’s something wrong there – his whole demeanor is down.

“Hey,” Jeondae greets with a smile, although it falls awkward into her pretty face.

The unfamiliar thick tension between them makes it hard to breathe for Jeondae – or maybe it’s the hot ball of nervousness melting her intestine making a dark smoke of anxiety that clogs up her lungs.

“Do you want to eat first?” Jeondae asks, surprised at how light her tone is, almost warm and bright. Baekhyun nods as he calls for the waiter. They exchange small talk while they wait for their food and then catch up on each other while they eat. The familiarity between them makes their conversations flow a little bit better. This is far from their normal but Jeondae would rather have this than the air between them hanging. At least, this eases out the thick tension in the air just by a little bit.

Her ball of nervousness spikes up to the back of her throat once they finish their food and Baekhyun clears his throat. She spent the entire week – preparing herself for the worse – praying that it won’t happen. “Dae,” Baekhyun softly calls, Jeondae looks at him straight in the eye and she could see the sincerity in Baekhyun’s dark brown eyes – she can also see fear. “I love you.” He mutters but it doesn’t make Jeondae’s heart flip.

Baekhyun sounds like he’s apologizing.

Baekhyun looks at her like he’s apologizing. “I love you but I’m not in love with you.” Jeondae just sits there – she already knows this but hearing it directly from Baekhyun’s mouth is far different. It’s like a spear pierced right through her chest, and the confirmation is the hands that yank it away from her body. 

Baekhyun continues talking, “I don’t want to hurt you. I will never want to hurt you. I don’t know what I should do but if there’s one thing is that I don’t want to hurt you… I don’t know if I’m still in love with Soongkyu but there’s still a part in me that’s hung up on her. That still clings on the absurd idea that we’ll get back together – that still misses her.”

She lets out a flabbergasted,  _ “Oh.” _ And like earlier, she knows this already but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. “It’s okay. That’s okay.” Jeondae mutters not knowing what to say and how to respond.

Jeondae becomes too absent-minded that she doesn’t realize that they’re both silent – not knowing what to say and where to go from there.

“What do we do now?” Baekhyun asks. Jeondae looks at him and she sees how unsure he is. This is the exact reason why she was scared to confess her feelings – scared of this awkward, impalpable air between them, scared of the hesitance in their actions.

None of them wants this.

But she can’t give up on Baekhyun, now.

Can’t give up Baekhyun just yet.

Because she fought tooth and nail to stay where she is, where they are - and she didn’t spend a lifetime hopelessly pinning over her best friend just so that her drunk self can ruin all of it for her. The idea that passes through her head is wild, almost stupid if you really think about - but right at that moment, it was the only rational solution she could think of.

She opens her mouth before she could even second guess herself and speaks, “I don’t think time off each other will do any good.” Baekhyun gives her his full attention, curious about what she has to say. “I also don’t think we can continue like this and expect nothing will change. Something is different now – you already know my feelings for you and we need to handle that.” Jeondae swallows, the rational part of her brain wants her to hold back and think things through. But Jeondae doesn’t listen – she’ll get scared and further ruin their friendship if she doesn’t do this now.

She looks at Baekhyun first before she says in a determined voice, “Let’s date.” She can see how Baekhyun’s eyes grow like saucers and how taken back he is at her suggestion.

“Dae—”

“I don’t care if you’re still in love with her,” Jeondae cuts whatever Baekhyun has to say. Whatever his argument is. “I don’t want us to end. Not like this, Baekhyunnie. I don’t want to give up on something without even trying. So, let’s date. Let’s give it a try, Baekhyun.” Jeondae tries to sound as convincing as she can. She can feel her jaw threatening to shake from her nerves. “Let’s go on a couple of dates – you don’t have to do anything, just let me take you to a couple of dates. Test the waters and give this whole relationship thing a shot.” Baekhyun doesn’t seem to repulse with the idea but he still doesn’t look convinced. His hesitance stems from concern. “It’s okay if you don’t love me, right now. I don’t mind, Baekhyun. Love takes time and I’m not in a rush. But please just give it a minute and think about it, we’d be so good together. So good for each other. No one knows you better than I do and you could say the same to me. You could use this opportunity to get over Soongkyu if you want to,” Jeondae enumerates out. “We’d start slow – really slow. And if you’re no longer happy, if it doesn’t really work – if it’s not what you want then we’ll stop. I will let you go by then.”

For a couple of seconds? Minutes? Baekhyun remains quiet and the whole time Jeondae feels like every second lasts for an eternity. She hugs herself to stop her from trembling.

She can’t go back from here – it’s a do or die for their friendship, and Jeondae takes Baekhyun’s silence as the opportunity to breathe.

Her feelings would be revealed – one way or another.

She did everything she could.

She ignores all the possible outcomes, all the possible responses Baekhyun would say - all the possible scenarios that would definitely end their friendship. Jeondae only focuses on one thing.

One reaction and one scenario - she prays for this single outcome.

She hopes that Baekhyun will meet her halfway.

“Okay,” comes in as Baekhyun’s quiet answer. “Let’s try.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Para kay L, nakita ko sarili ko, nakita rin kita. Kahit di natin to istorya.


	6. Chapter Six

It started slow. Jeondae kept with her promise that they’ll start slow.  _ Really slow _ .

If Jeondae is being honest, nothing really changed – they would go out for dinner and tell each other about their day – they’d hang out on the weekends (mostly Baekhyun inviting himself in Jeondae’s apartment). They’d quietly do work together. Sometimes, she’d bring Baekhyun to interactive museums (he loathes the typical galleries) or they’ll go on a late-night drive to randomly eat at some city’s night market. And of course, they’ll go partying together.

Nothing really changed except for one thing, Jeondae reaching out to intertwine their fingers together. She does it when they’re walking side by side or when Baekhyun’s driving. Baekhyun doesn’t initiate contact but Joendae gains confidence that Baekhyun doesn’t pull away or ask her to stop.

That goes on for a couple of months and Jeondae doesn’t really mind – she’d rather let love foster than have those fell-too-hard-too-fast relationships where the feelings would end up burning up almost immediately.

“What’s this?” Jeondae asks curiously as she studies the envelope Baekhyun gave to her, in her hands. They’re inside Baekhyun’s car and Baekhyun just picked her up from school. Baekhyun doesn’t answer her question, he only looks at her expectantly. She carefully opens the envelope and finds two tickets inside.

Jeondae gasps once she fishes out two “Van Gogh Alive” tickets. She turns to Baekhyun, far speechless and touched. Baekhyun seems proud of himself judging from the small quirk in the side of his lips.

“I saw Junmyeon looking up when will the ticketing start, and I just thought that it’d be cute if I took you there for a date,” Baekhyun explains, cutely with his lips forming into a content smile. Jeondae leans into Baekhyun and presses a quick kiss to his cheeks. She feels like one of her students with how giddy she feels, but the blush on Baekhyun’s cheeks is totally worth it.

From then on Baekhyun starts to slowly return Jeondae’s gestures. Jeondae doesn’t have to reach out that often to intertwine her fingers with Baekhyun because he will always be there to do it whenever they’re in arm’s away from each other. Oftentimes, Baekhyun will not even let go of her hand.

There’s this one Saturday and Jeondae just randomly said that she’s craving for seafood ramen and the next thing she knows they’re on a road trip towards the southern part of the country.

It was fun, with Jeondae and Baekhyun singing along at the radio – making random stops to grab some snacks on their way. Baekhyun would reach over and grab Jeondae’s hand and bring it into his lips to press a kiss at the back. He’d then tease Jeondae because of the flush on her face and she’d retaliate with pinching his cheeks so that he too would have red-tinted cheeks.

They spent the entire day eating different delicacies and exploring the entire city – one friendly local pointed out where the best place to get seafood ramen was. To say that it satisfied Jeondae’s craving will be an understatement – Baekhyun would even let out obscene noises because of the noodles and Jeondae never felt embarrassed than that.

They took a stroll at the beach to watch the sunset, with Baekhyun insisting on photographing Jeondae when the rays of the sun turned everything it touches into a golden hue. They passed by some indie band playing at the beachside and they stopped to watch. Jeondae loves moments like these the most. Hand in hand with Baekhyun, with good music playing in the background, salty night breeze blowing, all under the hazy light of the streetlights.

She peers up at Baekhyun beside him, his eyes are fixed on the band – and Jeondae stares at how Baekhyun seems to glow under the dim lights, then he turns his attention away from the band and to Jeondae. He smiles down at her, happy and handsome, and Jeondae smiles right back at him. Jeondae turns back to the busker but all of a sudden, Baekhyun pulls Jeondae in front of him. Then Baekhyun leans down to hug Jeondae from the back, his strong arms encircling her waist, and his chin resting on her shoulder. Baekhyun loves to cling to her like this whenever he can, but most of the time he does it within the walls of their apartments.

“It’s cold and I don’t have a jacket to lend you,” Baekhyun answers Jeondae’s unvoiced question. This was true because Baekhyun is just wearing a deep blue button-up and some jean shorts, while Jeondae is only dressed in a yellow sundress. Jeondae kisses Baekhyun’s cheek and Baekhyun places a kiss on her shoulder.

Although Sushi loves Baekhyun it seems like she hates it when Baekhyun lays on Jeondae’s bed. She’d hiss and go feral at Baekhyun whenever she finds them cuddling on Jeondae’s bed. Yes, cuddling –  _ only cuddling _ .

“You own a psychopathic cat,” Jeondae can feel Baekhyun’s voice rumble from his chest against her face. They’re cuddled together on Jeondae’s bed and Sushi almost mauls Baekhyun the moment he sat on Jeondae’s bed.

“She’s just jealous,” Jeondae mumbles and Baekhyun shifts his hands and tips Jeondae chin up with his index finger. Jeondae is greeted with a pouting Baekhyun. Jeondae wills away the urge to kiss that pout away – because they haven’t kissed yet (YES, THEY TOOK THE "LET'S TAKE IT SLOW” TO HEART!) and Jeondae would always wonder when would she get the chance to taste those pouty pink lips.

“She gets to cuddle you every day – we only get to do this once a week.” Baekhyun pouts as he complains and Jeondae chuckles before she places her head back on Baekhyun’s chest.

“She’s jealous because I enjoy cuddling you more,” she feels Baekhyun’s lips against her temple and Jeondae sighs happily as she closes her eyes.

Unlike Sushi, Mongryeong is thrilled with Jeondae on Baekhyun’s bed. He’d even forget about Baekhyun’s existence as he jumps on the bed with Joendae in it and Jeondae is happy to pet the puppy and gives him cuddles. “Okay, come on buddy,” Baekhyun says as he scoops Mongryeong from the bed and carries him outside the room. “You may be cuter than me but I’m the boyfriend.” He says as he places Mongryeong down and closes the doors.

If there’s a single moment that could sum up Jeondae and Baekhyun’s relationship, it would be their first kiss. It didn’t happen under the sea of a thousand stars, or while the rain was pouring down hard at them, it didn’t even happen at the doorstep after they came home from a romantic date. It happened on Jeondae’s couch. Mongryeong sleeps on Jeondae’s right, while Baekhyun is pressed on her left, as they watch an astronaut movie. Baekhyun happily eats his choco mint solo pack, while Jeondae eats her triple chocolate – they were both in the movie, or at least Jeondae was. Because she clearly doesn’t notice that Baekhyun was practically staring at her rather than Sandra Bullock floating in space.

“Dae?” Baekhyun calls out softly. Jeondae gives him a distracted hum, eyes fixed on the screen.

“Can I get a taste of your ice cream?” Jeondae gives another hum and Baekhyun lets out a whine, “Look at me, please.” Baekhyun adds emphasis on the please, making it sound cute. He repeats it two more times before Jeondae finally gives him the attention and turns to him.

“I already finished mine. Do you want to get ano-” Baekhyun doesn’t let her finish the sentence as he swoops in and kisses her quickly.

Jeondae sits there stunned, with her eyes comically wild and her lips tingling. Baekhyun grins at her mischievously as he runs his tongue on his lips like he’s savoring the taste, and Jeondae’s eyes follow the movement. “I think yours is a little too sweet. Don’t you think?”

“Yah,” Jeondae says when she’s finally pulled out of her stupor. She clicks her tongue in fake annoyance. “What was that?” Jeondae huffs out tauntingly. “I barely even felt it.”

“I just wanted to taste the ice cream,” Baekhyun answers in faux innocence, Jeondae doesn’t even fight her eye roll, Baekhyun cups her face and leans in just to kiss the corner of Jeondae’s mouth. Jeondae glares at him and Baekhyun laughs at her because she still looks so adorable, “There’s chocolate at the corners.” Baekhyun says as he presses a kiss on the other corner of her lips, right against the upturns.

“I waited for this for so long, do it properly,” Jeondae scolds and she feels Baekhyun’s smirk against her lips once he closes in the gap.

Baekhyun’s lips are soft, so soft. Probably the softest that she ever felt against hers. It is also a little wetter from earlier. It was just an innocent press of lips before Baekhyun pulls back. Jeondae was about to whine out but Baekhyun leans in once again to capture her lips against his, eager to get a taste. Jeondae instantly melts into the kiss. Baekhyun groans as he presses in deeper, suctioning Jeondae’s bottom lip. Her hands go up to Baekhyun’s hair while his hands fall down to her waist to pull Jeondae on his legs. She parts her lips with a whimper and Baekhyun’s tongue excitedly licks in and maps out Jeondae’s mouth. Jeondae can't help but let out small moans when Baekhyun kisses her harder.

The movie, Mongryeong, and ice cream were long forgotten, as they both spend the night exploring each other’s mouths. 

“Baekhyun?” Jeondae calls out, her voice cracks from the hoarseness of her throat. She can’t breathe through her nose and her throat is dried up. Even lifting her head drains the hell out of Jeondae. “I’m coming, babe!” Jeondae hears Baekhyun but he feels so far away so Jeondae closes her eyes first as she rests her eyes. A couple of hours(?) minutes(?) seconds(?) later she wakes up with Baekhyun’s voice coaxing her awake. Jeondae struggles to keep her eyelids open but once she can, she sees Baekhyun with his worried face holding a bowl. He places the bowl on the bedside table.

Jeondae feels like a rag doll with how Baekhyun sat her upright so that she’s sitting beside him – she heavily relies on Baekhyun for support – she feels weaker than ever and this is just from the flu.

“Eat first and then go to sleep, okay?” Baekhyun murmurs in her ear but it already gives Jeondae a headache with how it rings in her head. She gives a subtle nod, and Baekhyun feeds her with the porridge he made.

_ Thank you, lord that her sinuses are blocked and hindering her taste buds from functioning. _

Jeondae manages to eat half of the bowl. Baekhyun just places the bowl back on the bedside table because Jeondae doesn’t want him to go anywhere. They cuddle together, with Jeondae laying more on Baekhyun rather than the bed.

“Thank you,” Jeondae says as she finally settles. She feels Baekhyun hold her tighter and place a kiss on her temple before Baekhyun says, “You’re lucky that I love you.” Jeondae’s mind has been fuzzy all day long but at this moment everything clears out. Did Baekhyun just say that he loves her? “I love you, Kim Jeondae.” Baekhyun repeats and Jeondae lifts her heavy and heady head to look at Baekhyun. “I've loved you for a while now and I don’t think it’s appropriate to confess to you right when you’re sick. But I do. I love you. I love you, thank you for waiting for me.” Jeondae cracks a smile and answers, “I love you too.”

Thanks to Jeondae’s quick reflexes (probably developed from fending off Baekhyun’s advances), she blocks Baekhyun’s lips with her palm when he leans in to give her a kiss. Baekhyun looks at her in confusion, “You’ll get sick,” Jeondae silently chides as she lets her hand fall. Baekhyun huffs out in amusement before he tips his chin up to press a kiss on Jeondae’s temple instead. “I love you.” Jeondae whispers.

“I love you,” Baekhyun whispers back.

Jeondae lets out a sigh of relief.

Baekhyun’s three words kick out the insecurity that has taken residence in the back of her mind.

Because there will always be times when Jeondae’s insecurities are running wild inside her head, tainting her thoughts. Making her question all of their progress. Because even if they’re acting like a couple - even when they feel like they’re in love - even if Jeondae sees the love in Baekhyun’s eyes...

It doesn’t change the fact that Jeondae practically begged Baekhyun to go out with her - the fact that Baekhyun only agreed because Jeondae is his best friend. It made her hesitant to do things - scared that it will be too forward for Baekhyun. But Jeondae would also be scared to patiently wait for Baekhyun to develop his feeling for her because what if he doesn’t?

What if all of this is just an act Baekhyun was just playing, and he’s still madly in love with Soongkyu, and he’s just waiting for the right moment to reveal to Jeondae that he doesn’t want to try anymore. 

What will she do by then?

Another wave of insecurity crashes through her thoughts, because what if Baekhyun only thinks that he’s enjoying this - only thinks that he’s happy with this - because of the comfort that it brings. Like, Baekhyun doesn’t really like Jeondae per se, but he only likes the thought of having someone by his side. 

She doesn’t ponder on them as much, she opts to look at the positive side of things. She often opts to trust that Baekhyun will come her way, that Baekhyun  _ is _ on his way.

They’ve talked about this, talked about these insecurities so many times. Baekhyun, never once faltered - would not hesitate to assure Jeondae that he likes her because she’s Jeondae. Not because of respect for their friendship, not even because he’s lonely. He likes her and he’s on his way to loving her.

And it seems like he finally reached his destination today.

  
  
  
  
  


Jeondae  _ shouldn’t _ be a stranger to the fact that Baekhyun uses his mouth a lot – not just a lot, “a lot” is even an  _ understatement _ because if there’s one part of his body that he utilizes at the fullest then it will be his mouth.

It’s to be expected since Baekhyun talks a lot – talks whenever he can, talks as loudly as he can. Whether it’s quick teasing remarks, jokes to make everyone laugh, or just him voicing out his opinion about the things he cares about. Baekhyun smiles a lot too – that cute wide grin he flashes to anyone when he’s happy or that gentle smile of contentment only Jeondae gets to see.

But if that mouth is quiet, sealed shut with his lips pressed into a thin line – warning bells would automatically go out in Jeondae’s brain. And right now, as Baekhyun stands across the room from her. Dressed in a three-piece black Dior suit with his hair slicked back.

His face cold and his dark eyes fixed on Jeondae.

_ Only on Jeondae. _

It doesn’t need to be a genius to conclude that she’s in trouble.

As the host on the stage introduces the CEO of the company, Baekhyun finally makes a move towards the door that leads to the balcony. He makes sure that Jeondae was watching him and instinctively, Jeondae follows. She quietly excuses herself from the table that she’s in (ignores one protest for her to stay) and discreetly walks towards the door – slips out of the big conference room right when the crowd erupts into a loud round of applause.

The balcony is empty, save for the bright sky filled with stars. Jeondae hugs herself as the dry night air blows her way, her white faux fur dress suit does nothing to keep the cold away.

“Baek?” Jeondae calls out. Looking around for her boyfriend. “Baekhyun?” Jeondae calls once again, she sees him by the windows at the corner of the balcony, broad back against her. She walks toward him and doesn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around his waist and tips her chin up to press a kiss on his nape before she tucks her head on his shoulder blades.

Baekhyun doesn’t budge but she expects it. Jeondae just needs to try harder.

“Are you mad at me?” Jeondae asks, she makes her voice excessively sweet.

“Why should I?” Baekhyun’s reply is curt, he sounds like he’s mad. But Jeondae knows him well enough to say that he’s just jealous. Although, Baekhyun is naturally possessive. It amplifies when it comes to Jeondae. If it weren’t for his self-control, he would have gone berserk with every lust filled stare, every remark, every pickup line, every damn time Jeondae will get hit on. 

Baekhyun convinces himself that it’s inevitable, that this jealousy is all irrational since he has an attractive girlfriend and it surely will attract attention wherever she goes. No matter the occasion.

Jeondae will always,  _ always _ try to soothe out his worries.

But

When someone gets handsy on her – like how one of Baekhyun’s workmates abruptly pulls her into a hug and seems to have taken interest in her with how he would never leave her alone, all the while Baekhyun helps Sehun with his speech – is enough to trigger the possessive streak out of Baekhyun.

Jeondae squeezes Baekhyun’s torso tight, “Don’t get jealous,” her voice muffled on Baekhyun’s back and he turns around so fast – catches Jeondae off guard as Baekhyun advances towards her, Jeondae takes a couple of steps back until her back hits the glass of the window.

Baekhyun looks powerful as he crowds Jeondae against the windowpane – he takes advantage of his broader and taller stature so that he looms over her. He still stands a couple of steps away from her, his arms are not even placed on either side of Jeondae’s body, but the domineering fire in Baekhyun’s eyes was enough for her to already squirm.

She already feels trapped.

“You look like you were enjoying yourself out there,” Baekhyun whispers, so quietly. But his voice is more taunting than ever before. He brings his hands up Jeondae’s face and slowly runs his index finger from her temple to her chin. It was such a small gesture but Jeondae’s tummy slowly fills with arousal – her body far too acquainted with the power of Baekhyun’s hands held over her body. How those long and slim fingers can make her come just by a few flicks.

“I was,” Jeondae answers honestly and she watches how Baekhyun’s throat works as he swallows. His eyes grow darker and he braces both of his arms on either side of Jeondae’s head as he cages her in. Her hands automatically come up to rest on his shoulders.

Exactly how a predator traps their prey.

A zap runs through Jeondae’s spine that comes from the exhilaration from pushing Baekhyun’s buttons. Between the two of them, Baekhyun was always that tease, but Jeondae loves to play the game just as much as he does – because, in the end of the day, Jeondae’s the real winner.

“Why did you leave then?” Baekhyun leans in and directly asks it against Jeondae’s ear. Voice seductively low and Jeondae feels the shiver that runs through her body. Jeondae can already feel the dampness on her underwear. “All those guys flocking over you. So greedy for their attention.”

“I only want yours,” Jeondae quickly corrects, one of her hands moving to Baekhyun’s nape – urging him to look at her. When Baekhyun does look at her, Jeondae could have cum right then and there with how intense his eyes were. “My super smart, handsome and successful boyfriend. The perfect boyfriend.” Jeondae says, she makes sure that she sounds as genuine and as sweet as she can. “The only reason why I’m all dolled up and pretty for.”

“Flattery won’t get you anywhere baby,” Baekhyun whispers on Jeondae’s awaiting lips before he crashes them together.

The kiss is hot and bruising, with Baekhyun domineering, Jeondae feels like she would feel Baekhyun’s lips days after. The heated kiss is a stark contrast from Baekhyun’s soft lips, it has Jeondae whimpering in an instant. The kiss has Jeondae panting, heart beating wildly – Baekhyun kisses her with so much urgency, Jeondae’s lips already feel swollen. Baekhyun was quick to wrap his wide hands on Jeondae’s waist and pin her further towards the window.

All of her moans were effectively swallowed by Baekhyun’s mouth. Her hands come up to run her fingers on his slick black hair. Baekhyun’s lips leave her lips for her jaw, down to the column of her neck. Jeondae gasps when one hand expertly pops open her suit jacket and reveals her white lace bra and miniskirt under. 

Baekhyun dips his head quickly to suck hickeys on her collar bones, he adds brand new purple love bites to already fading ones. Jeondae arches her back against Baekhyun’s mouth. Baekhyun’s mouth trails downwards, to her sternum. He completely ignores Jeondae’s breasts and her achingly hard nipples that strains the fabric of her bra.

He goes down on his knees, Jeondae’s legs instinctively parting to accommodate Baekhyun between them. His trousers will get ruined but Baekhyun clearly doesn’t give a damn, he grabs the hems of her skirt and pulls it upward and pools it on her waist. Exposing her matching white lace panties under – a wet patch already visible.

“Baek- Baek-” Jeondae tries to warn Baekhyun, tries to warn that anyone can walk in on them – walk in on their Head Esports Producer kneeling in between the thighs of his girlfriend (that’s practically naked) when they should be in the next room listening to their CEO’s speech. Jeondae, eyes half lidded and her face flushed, looks down at Baekhyun and the other looks up at her, eyes filled with mirth and mouth condescendingly slanted to the side.

All of the words she would want to say gets cut off to a strangled moan when Baekhyun's breath blows right into where she wants his mouth to be.

“You’re sensitive, Baby.” Baekhyun teases, almost conceited, and Jeondae's breath hitches when Baekhyun nips at the inside of her thigh. “Already so wet,” A broad lick to where he bit and Jeondae’s knees are already threatening to give up on her. “When we’re barely getting started.”

“Baekhyun,” Jeondae manages to get out, eyes fluttering close so that she can’t see the smug glint on Baekhyun’s eyes from how needy and desperate she already sounds. “They’ll see.”

“Do you want me to stop?” Baekhyun looks up at her and Jeondae bites back a groan with how he looks deceivingly innocent. Almost angelic, if it wasn’t for his dark and domineering eyes filled with want and desire. Fingers hooked on her underwear, while his thumbs rub circles on her hip bones.

Jeondae seals her mouth shut because she knows that once she starts begging for it Baekhyun will draw it out as far as he can – will tease her as long as he can.

“Baby,” Baekhyun coaxes an answer out of her, “You know I hate repeating myself,” He leans in and places a kiss on the thin skin below her belly button. Jeondae shakes her head, as she breathes “No, no. Baekhyun, don’t stop.”

Baekhyun still doesn’t do anything and Jeondae curses before she begs, “Please. Baekhyunah.” Her nails scraping his scalp. Baekhyun smirks as he tugs her underwear down and quickly pockets it. Jeondae whimpers at the feeling of the cold night air directly hitting her volcanically hot core. He then grabs Jeondae’s left leg and hooks it over his shoulder, places his hand on her left knee. Shifting her hips forward so that only her shoulder blades are against the glass windows, her right hand moves to Baekhyun’s shoulder for support.

Jeondae braces for the attack.

Only for Baekhyun to latch his mouth on the inside of her knees and leaves a trail of hot hickeys down her thighs – he finishes it off with a bite at her thighs and her crotch. Jeondae tries her best to breathe properly even if her heart is pumping a billion beats per second.

“Baekhyun,” Jeondae whimpers, high and needy.  _ Desperate _ .

“Yes, baby?” Baekhyun’s mouth is only a few centimeters from her clit and Jeondae will probably die from frustration. She can already feel her eyes grow heated and damp and she just can’t hold it anymore, Jeondae thrusts her hips forward, urging Baekhyun to do  _ something _ .

“Plea-” Jeondae’s plea gets cut off with a soundless moan when Baekhyun finally licks into her. Hot and fast – like a parched man stuck in a dessert tasting water for the first time in years. He fucks his tongue into her, deep and hard. He licks and curls his tongue – expertly knowing how Jeondae likes it, where Jeondae loves it. She immediately arches her back, mind lost in pleasure. Jeondae’s eyes roll back, breaths ragged and short – as Baekhyun completely ravishes her. The pleasure was too good, too right that she can’t even moan out, mouth open and jaw slacked.

She lifts the hand she has on Baekhyun’s shoulder and holds her palm tightly against her mouth to prevent her from making any noise. Because she knows how loud they could get, how loud she could get. (If the disapproving looks, they’d get from their neighbors were anything to go by).

And even if Jeondae is too far gone to care, she’s still highly aware that there’s an ongoing party and anybody can still come out and see them.

Almost like he read her mind, Baekhyun laughs right against her, into her folds and Jeondae whimpers. Because it seems like Baekhyun wants exactly that, wants to see how he can easily play Jeondae like this.

At least she had enough foresight that Baekhyun might pull something like this and chose a pair of black heels with thicker and broader heels. But it still doesn’t help as much as Jeondae’s feet shake from the combined pressure from her own weight and the pleasure she gets from Baekhyun’s mouth.

Jeondae places the hand on her mouth against the glass on the side of her head to gain leverage as her hips take a tentative thrust and immediately Baekhyun pulls back. A whimper escapes from her lips, she misses his mouth on her already.

“Move and I’ll stop. Understood?” There’s such a commanding presence in his tone and Jeondae whimpers again while she nods. Baekhyun clicks his tongue and whispers directly against her throbbing muscles, “Words, Baby. I need words.”

“Ye-yes, yes, please. Baekhyun. Yes.” Jeondae sounds wrecked and hoarse and needy, and it’s exactly what Baekhyun wants because he smirks at her and plunges three fingers down into her opening. Deep, fast – almost ruthlessly fucking into her. Jeondae was quick to swallow the moan that was about to erupt from her throat. The pain from his dry fingers gets easily overridden with pleasure that comes with it. 

Baekhyun just basks in the sight of Jeondae falling apart beautifully because of him. Before he leans in and sucks her clit hard, swirls his tongue over and over again against it. Jeondae immediately bites her bottom lip, enough for her to taste the metallic taste of blood. She’s so close to breaking her back with how hard she arches it.

She’s so close to the edge, her bones already quacking from her tense muscles, she clenches against him and her vision starts to swim. “Baek,” Jeondae warns, almost too quiet but he hears it. He quickly removes his fingers and replaces them with his mouth and with just one swipe from Baekhyun’s thumb over her clit, Jeondae comes. Her orgasm is so intense that her whole-body rattles. Baekhyun doesn’t move away when Jeondae thrusts her hips on Baekhyun’s glorious mouth to ride out her orgasm. The hand on her knees rubs soothing circles that grounds her.

Baekhyun drops her leg to the ground and Jeondae was about to fall in a boneless heap if not for Baekhyun’s strong arms encircling around her waist, holding her close. Her shoulder blades aching from pressing against the hard glass. He holds Jeondae with one arm as he straightens down her skirt and buttons up her dress suit. He then brushes off the dirt and grime on his knees. He makes sure that they both look decent enough to go back.

Jeondae smiles hazily to herself because Baekhyun looks more handsome than a while ago, his face more relaxed and his hair in disarray that should look ridiculous but with him, it only looks hot. His lips bright red, face shining with sweat, and his eyes piercing but filled with love.

Baekhyun stops and stares at her and what a sight Jeondae makes. Her hair is a mess, her face glows with a sheen layer of sweat, her pupils blown wide, her lips swollen red and her cheeks tinted in the prettiest shade of pink. She looks so wrecked and Baekhyun looks at her lovingly, adoringly. Like, she’s the center of the universe and she probably is.

And Baekhyun can’t help but fall a little harder.

_ Fall a little deeper. _

“You look so beautiful,” Baekhyun whispers, voice laced heavily with appreciation and pride. Marvels on the thought that people could look at Jeondae but it’s only him that gets to touch her, it’s only him that will get to see her like this.

_ Lucky enough to wreck her like this.  _

“I love you,” Baekhyun declares and he says it more often than Jeondae does (now) but it still makes her giddy every damn time. He holds Jeondae closer, he presses light kisses on her hairline and wraps his arms around her securely. Jeondae rests her head on his chest, she can feel their thundering heartbeats syncing in together, slowing down in tandem. They stay like that for a while, basking in on each other.

Jeondae tips her head back in silent plea and Baekhyun indulges as he dips down and draws Jeondae in for a kiss. The kiss is nice and sweet, she can feel the love he pours into it and Jeondae tries her best to reciprocate. They kiss lazily under the see of the stars, only stopping when they hear another round of applause signaling the end of Sehun’s speech.

Baekhyun holds Jeondae in arm’s length, to check if she can finally stand on her own. Jeondae has other plans as she moves her right hand down to press against the impressive tent on Baekhyun’s pants, Baekhyun was quick to wrap his fingers around her wrist and presses a quick kiss on the inside before he tugs her back into the conference room. Jeondae doesn’t miss the smirk plastered on his face when they enter.

All throughout the night, Baekhyun uses his mouth to good use. He uses it to crack some jokes with his workmates, to charm some company investors. Uses it as he leans into Jeondae and whispers dirtily in her ear, voice hot and low. Whispers how he can just simply slip his fingers inside her right then and there, how he can’t wait to go home and have his way with her, how he’ll mark her up and not leave a single space untainted, write his name with hickeys and handprints, make her breast swollen and her cunt gape, how he’ll fuck her up so hard that his dick will leave an imprint inside her.

Jeondae’s toes curl and her folds clench in anticipation.

Because Byun Baekhyun would always deliver, and that night was no exception.

  
  


“I’m actually impressed,” Chaeyeol says as she sits on the kitchen stool. Jeondae hands her a tall glass of orange juice before she drags another stool and sits beside her. “Your brand-new home is actually amazing. You guys really turned it into a home.” Chaeyeol says as she looks around. Jeondae shines in pride as she says a shy little “Thank you”. A couple of months ago Jeondae asked Baekhyun if he wants to move into her apartment since he sleeps there more than his own – even Mongryeong is staying in Jeondae’s apartment. Baekhyun is wasting money on rent and utilities and that grocery shopping will be so much easier and cheaper if he moves in. Baekhyun agreed easily but he asks if Jeondae wants to let go of her apartment as well and look for their own house. Get it under a loan – it didn’t take much for Jeondae to get convinced. House hunting was so time-consuming and stressful but everything but it’s superficial to the happiness they felt when they found a cute little two-story pale-yellow house with three bedrooms and two baths, with a cute little garden in the backyard. The kitchen needed some repairs, but nevertheless, it was perfect.

A perfect place to make a home.

The home is filled with a lot of old memories and has enough space for new ones. Jeondae looks at the wall of photographs at the side of the staircase, there’s a couple of brand-new photos there but one photo she particularly loves is a photo of her taken by Baekhyun. She was sleeping on the couch, snug under Baekhyun’s favorite blanket with Mongryeong tucked in her arms and Sushi sleeping at the backrest – they’re all waiting for Baekhyun to come from work.

It took a long while to get where they are and it still makes Jeondae feel elated that they’re really settling down – like they’re both in this relationship thing for life and there’s no turning back now.

Still gets high off the feeling when Baekhyun looks at her and would whisper in her ear, nice and sweet,  _ “I look at you and see my entire future, right there.” _

“Did you baptize it?” Chaeyeol smirks at Jeondae’s blush.

“He was on a mission to baptize every possible surface.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The white dress suit that I have in mind~


	7. Epilogue

She lets a sigh from happiness before she walks outside of the bathroom, her white dress flowing against her legs. Jeondae quietly tiptoes to their living room, she sees their fury babies feasting on their respective bowls. She finds Baekhyun in front of the tv as he sets up his Xbox console for a whole afternoon to spend on gaming. She knows that it’s better to get it out now before he does anything or before she goes sleepy.

Jeondae carefully tucks herself at the corner of the couch as she watches Baekhyun stare at his entire shelf collection of games.

“Babe, do you have something to do on Monday?” Jeondae starts conversationally, Sushi makes her way to the couch and Jeondae motions to pick her up but the cat was clearly not in the mood for cuddles so Jeondae lets her go. Baekhyun gives a really distracted answer as he plucks out the disk holders. “Just some work, why’d you ask?”

“Oh good, I’ll drop by your office and ask you to sign something.” Jeondae tries to make her voice as nonchalant as possible but the bubble of excitement is expanding in her chest. “Maybe by lunchtime so that we could eat it together.”

“I’ll just come and pick you up,” Baekhyun suggests as he holds the four games that he narrowed down on. Before he turns to Jeondae and asks, “Sign what?”

“Nothing important,” Jeondae answers coyly with a shrug. “Just our marriage certificate.” Jeondae literally sees how Baekhyun processes her words as he looks at her in shock and confusion.

“Did I propose to you?” Jeondae shakes her head. No, Baekhyun did not propose to her. “Did you propose to me?” Baekhyun asks and Jeondae also shakes her head. Her answer only makes Baekhyun far more confused.

“Then why are we registering our marriage?”

“I think it’s better if we’re already married when I give birth to your first child, don’t you think?”

It takes a good minute for Baekhyun.exe to finally process and render the code and when he does, Baekhyun went from jumping to crying to showering Jeondae with kisses and I love you’s.

To say that he’s the happiest man on earth would be an understatement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, you've come this far - might as well leave a kudos and a nice comment (only if u want).
> 
> Also, this is the fastest fic that I have ever written; please stay safe and at home!!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I'm in [Twitter.](https://twitter.com/aerinuh)
> 
> Title from [Ariana Grande's song, One Last Time.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wg92RrNhB8s) (Which is also the same song I was listening to when I was writing the outline)


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